Hello, all you losers
You've got nothing to fear
This may not be the end of the world
But you can see it from here...
Dateline: Davenport, IA
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| I'm 99 and drinking chardonnay, bitches! |
It goes without saying that none of these men would know us if we bumped into them on the street. Even the games themselves are a communal delusion; they matter only because enough of us have agreed to act like they do.
In the light of day, when the idols become people, with weird opinions, or irritating habits, or perhaps even certain feelings about you, the fan, it ruins the spell. Now you’re just an adult talking to your imaginary friends, like a loser (or Jerrence).
Zach Helfand
The New Yorker
Sept. 7, 2024
Paraphrasing an article that Mr. Gruley shared recently seems apropos at this moment. Fun fact: the last two times my lifelong professional football love, the Green Bay Packers, won the Super Bowl I was 'between jobs' as they say. And as euphoric as those victories were, I recall waking up Monday morning still unemployed. We call that a reality check.
The epiphany being that taking a serious, vested interest in games (and the people that play 'em) is essentially a great (bourgeoise?) indulgence accorded one best when Life is going well. But when significant relationship / financial / health / career problems intervene, one realizes quickly how trivial those sports-related passions truly are. Or maybe you're just a loser, pinning your psyche on emotionally stunted humans with a unique, freakish physical skill.
Consider this a Public Service Announcement.
That said, Notre Dame football right now? Yikes.
Quote of the Week
A Jerrence text inquiry to an attendee at Saturday's contest. (It doesn't really matter who it was - it could've been anyone. And by anyone, I don't mean anyone of Jerrence's friends. Anyone of 60,000+ fans in the stadium)
Word of the Week.
On a screen roughly 6" x 2.5", those passes didn't look nearly as poorly thrown.
And even later, when Denbrock opened the playbook up a bit, and Leonard actually threw some really nice downfield passes, Jerrence knew that Notre Dame Nation would be in high dudgeon. Struggling against a second MAC conference team, at home, was grounds for some serious fan blowback...
Game 4 Thoughts
I'll fake it through the day
With some help from Johnnie Walker Red
Send the poison rain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head...
When does a 25 point victory feel like a loss? I'm reminded of what felt like the worst thing a parent could say to a son or daughter while growing up:
"We're not angry, We're just disappointed."
Ouch. Couldn't you at least verbally abuse me -- tell me I'm adopted and that you now know they gave you the wrong kid and you knew this conversation would one day come...
So yeah, Marcus, I'm not mad. Yet. I'm just super disappointed. And scared. And frankly, more than a little confused. So I've got a few questions for you:
1. QB. The NBC announcers reported that you've been spending a meaningful amount of time helping get Riley's confidence up.
It looked like it may have worked -- a bit -- albeit in an incremental "the long ball is looking much better but boy, we've still have some work to do on those short, 'move the chains' throws."
So, asking for a friend: Should you really have to worry about building up your big $ NIL QB's confidence? Shouldn't that be part of the package?
Still, one would've thought that the opportunity to make amends for your MAC team no-show of two weeks ago would've been plenty motivating.
And yet, evidently not so much. And whatever was possibly lacking on that front was made up for by zero attention to detail.
Usually I have an internal debate over who gets the blame: players or coaches. Not this week.
So this query is therefore perhaps simpler: Do you realize you're probably coaching for your job (if not this year, next)?
While undeniably very good, watching our interior D-line (ostensibly with two All-America players) get repeatedly gashed makes me wonder if we're watching the same team.
The D is very, very good. And yes, the secondary is near elite and the young LB's get demonstrably better every week but... Are Messrs. Cross and Mills injured or simply caught up in their preseason hype?
4. Special Teams Suffice to say, Saturday was not a Best Practice for that group's consistency of performance (unless it's consistently bad):
- A muffed punt
- A botched field goalsnap/hold
- An illegal block in the back that cost the Irish 36 yards on a kick return
- A pre-snap penalty prior to a punt
- At least the kickoff unit got off scot-free with five touchbacks
And on that particular kick, ND changed the long snapper! Ostensibly because the original guy is of such diminutive stature (5'7") that it may have contributed to the prior blocked kicks.
Note to self: when your long snapper is shorter than your placekicker, there may be an issue.
So my question is this: What the fuck, coach Biagi?!
5. Rankings. Win by 60 (and look dominant, albeit against a Big 10 bottom feeder), move up one spot. Win by 25 (albeit looking... disinterested?... against a MAC team... at home) and move up one spot. The moral of the story? As Al Davis would say, "Just win, baby."
But... does anyone really think, today, they can sustain this for eight more games?
Buddy's Buddy
It's testimony to what a kind hearted, if goofy, creature Buddy was that the family held a firm belief that should we ever be victim of a burglary... not only would Buddy not do anything, he'd probably show the intruders where he thought our most valuable possessions lie.
Then he'd go lay down again. Possibly blocking the door and making them find another point of exit.
Well done, Bud.
Even in that spirit of heightened generosity, given how sloppy ND's play was... it wasn't easy to identify a football recipient this week. In fact, serious consideration was given to our Milwaukee wedding bartender who, after the 3rd refill, I didn't even have to say "Old Fashioned" for the rest of the evening! Nice to see someone take real pride in their craft.
However, upon further reflection, one kid did in fact stand out -- uniquely representing a bright spot for the day AND a real cause for long term optimism: Boubacar Traore.
4 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 forced fumble.
Only a redshirt freshman and ostensibly just a 'next man up' replacement for senior Edge rusher Jordan Bothelo (out for the season w a torn ACL), he might already be better.
Certainly more productive.
Huzzah! 'Cause that ND definitely needs someone up front creating some havoc.
RE-PETE (A shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mail-bag)
Before last week's game, Pete Sampson played 'fly on the wall' of the Miami (OH) team's prep for the ND game.
Very interesting stuff. I won't re-post (even my wanton plagiarism has its limits) but if you have a subscription to The Athletic, you can read it here.
But one of the more interesting tidbits from Sampson's post-game analysis involved re-visiting the Miami coaching staff's impression of our QB -- a review that one could charitably file under "a blinding glimpse of the obvious."
It’s hard to look at Riley Leonard through another staff’s eyes and not wonder how Notre Dame got here. The Irish have one of the worst passing offenses in the country and opponents want Leonard to pass. That’s not why you get a big-money quarterback out of the portal. The word is out on Leonard. He doesn’t get through his first read. He gets flustered by pressure. The Miami staff looked through Notre Dame and LSU tape to find routes when it might be able to bait Leonard into a pick. Those plays never showed on Saturday, but Miami worked them.
During film study last Sunday a Miami assistant asked me, “He has zero touchdown passes? Is that true?” Leonard’s (in)ability to pass doesn’t add up for opponents, either.
Source: The Athletic
September 24, 2024
Note: However cruel it is to continually kick a person when they're down, there's also a relevance issue -- stop me if you've heard this before -- you cannot consistently win in college football (pro for that matter) if one cannot pass competently.
Perhaps Freeman doesn't see it that way.
Cocktail of the Month
When pondering what might be an appropriately thematic drink for this week's post-game reflection, the cocktail below became abundantly clear as the choice, largely due to:
1) My desire, by the end if the 1st Quarter, to be as far away from South Bend as possible -- Jamaica sounds... fantastic!
2) Saturday was such a nice day out and yet, watching this team... inside my head a Nor'easter is a raging.
Marlon James's Dark 'N' Stormy
1970-
For Jamaican author and winner of the 2014 Man Booker Prize for A Brief History of Seven Killings Marlon James, classic wins out over complicated.
"With cocktails," he says, "I prefer if somebody can do a good dark 'n' stormy. One of (the) things I find is everybody spends so much time on fussy cocktails that they screw up the simple ones. And, you'd be amazed how many screw up a dark 'n' stormy."
The dark 'n' stormy, which honors James's Jamaican heritage, depends on the quality of its minimal components, and their proportions. For guidance, just look to the cocktail's name: your rum should be dark and brooding, the ginger beer should be bracing and murky; when you combine them in a highball glass, they should roil against each other, clashing like thunderous clouds and a tumultuous, tropical sea.
- 2 oz. dark rum (Gosling's or equivalent blackstrap)
- 1/2 oz. lime juice
- 4 oz. ginger beer
- lime wedge for garnishing
In a highball glass, combine rum and lime juice. Add ice and ginger beer. Garnish with the lime wedge.
Pair with: Curry goat, one of James's favorite traditional Jamaican dishes.
Source: How To Drink Like A Writer
Writing by Margaret Kaplan
Schedule 2024
August
31 @Texas A&M W
September
7 Northern Illinois L
14 @Purdue W
21 Miami (OH) W
28 Louisville
October
12 Stanford The Brothers Corrigan game
19 @Georgia Tech
26 Navy
November
9 Florida State Night game - accepting couch viewing bookings
16 Virginia
23 @Army (Yankee Stadium) McSorley's anyone?
30 @USC
December
20 1st round playoff game at ND Stadium -- see you there. (Maybe not.)
Wager 2024
By my estimation, the only people (wager-related) who should be encouraged by Saturday's game is Albert and Garrett. For those that were otherwise left optimistic -- and I'm uncomfortable suggesting this -- you might have early onset dementia.
But 'hope springs eternal,' right?
Don't give up, you're not beaten yet
Don't give up, I know you can make it good...
Truth be told, I'm not sure they can make it good. And hope is not a strategy. But it's all I've got right now.
Wins | Director - ND Equivalence | Domer |
12  Christopher Nolan | The Nick Saban of the film world - Nolan is Mr. Swing For The Fences Big Idea Guy, even if every effort isn't always a home run. But they are undeniably ... epic. Just like a 12-0 season. |
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11  Martin McDonagh | Hello, he's Irish! Solidly predictable for always being really, really good. And as his reputation has been burnished, the star talent in his cast has followed. Sound familiar? | Jerrence, Daryl Jim S, Tim C. Jerry C, Mike C. Greg R., Bob S. George, Raz, Ted, Bob J. Tim S. |
10  David Fincher |
Pretty much a stud in both film and TV formats. Always interesting, albeit with palpably dark undertones... one is never sure how the story is going to end up. Much like a 10 win season will feel like. | Pat B, Mike B. Bill, Jim B. Sloane, Alex Phillip, Randy Mike G., Jerry P Gutsch, Mark Jim T., Brian W |
9  Yorgos Lanthimos | Do I always understand what's going on his films? Nope. | Alvin, Garrett |
8  Richard Linklater | Perhaps the product of recency bias - I quite liked 'Hit Man' - Linklater's films fall for this blogger into the "nice-fun-I see an interesting insight" category. They just don't feel especially memorable. Like we'd view an 8 win season. | |
7  Wes Anderson | When does quirky/idiosyncratic become tiresome? When you feel like you're watching - again - an inside joke that you're not included in. Anderson attracts an an all-star cast that no longer seems to add up to the sum of their parts. In a word, disappointing. | |
6  Lars Von Trier | Uncomfortable. Unpleasant. Disturbing. Often off the rails, his films might be 'art' but it's tough to call it many people's definition of entertainment. | |
Schadenfreude of the Week.
Given that ND has exhausted all of its BCS playoff-related flexibility before they even gotten out of the month of September...
Schadenfreude has taken on a very "it's not personal, just business" flavor.
Okay, I lied. Some (much?) of this is still very personal.
Prioritizing defense against the run may not be terribly sexy (or as relevant) from what you're used to in the Pac-12 but the points count just the same.
You should probably plan on getting used to this.
More pragmatically, with every match up between higher ranked teams, someone has to lose and fall in the polls. Helps ND. And boy, do we need help.
Terry's Tools.
Over the years, picking on the city of Philadelphia -- and much of its citizenry -- has always been pretty low hanging fruit.
This is, after all, the city that booed Santa Claus and, if I recall, perfected the battery-in-a-snow ball tactic.
The City of Brotherly Love, indeed.
But are they really the OG when it comes to sports-related misbehavior? Perhaps if we looked a little farther west for inspiration...
Detroit. It's fair to submit that one should perhaps cut Detroit Lion fans some slack. It's been a very, very... long time since they've had a winner -- so maybe there's a learning curve to handling success and the occasional disappointment of losing The Big Game. (Says the Packer fan experienced in soul crushing playoff losses despite having 30 years of Hall of Fame QB's and only two Super Bowls to show for it.)
Then again, Detroit wrote the book on all rioting (hey, a game doesn't even have to be involved)!
So Philly, man up.
Campbell told Crain’s he loved the neighborhood and called the home — a 7,800-square-foot mansion on two acres — “beautiful,” but said, “It’s just that people figured out where we lived when we lost.”
The Campbell family filed a police report after they were harassed and pranked at their home following multiple losses last season, including a 34-31 loss to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship Game.
Does one need to point out the Bloomfield Hills locale -- Belknap, lock your doors!
Name of the Month
Frankly, mom and dad -- it's sexist and demonstrably lacking in any creativity or open-mindedness.
Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Swords (and wouldn't it be great if mom and dad's names were Epee and Saber?) for recognizing that girls, nay women, can be just as innovative as the boys...
So reaching into our women's basketball dB, I give you:
Savvy Swords
But more importantly, has she ever met our outgoing Athletic Director? You know, speaking from one Savvy to another...
In any event, rock on Savannah!
Final Thought
In the spirit of present day Notre Dame football as conversation stopper...
