Week 2: Holy Toledo? Holy Sh*t!!!

Dateline:  Flint Lake, IN

Tell me how do we get this thing started...

It's impossible to have a game on this particular date - even without all the understandable media coverage - and not think about where you were at the time.

9/11/01.

We were living in Italy.  Jerrence at the FCB Milan office.  3pm'ish... why is everyone gathering around the office TV monitors?  Very surreal, especially from 4000 miles, a continent and a few cultures away.  I doubt there's anyone who's more than a single degree of separation from someone with a 9/11 story, tragic or hopefully, of the 'near miss' variety.  

Here's mine (and I hope I've got this correctly):  my brother Tim's mother-in-law (an incredible person BTW) was going to walk over to the WTC that morning to get some theatre Hottix for the evening.  

The Plan:  get in line early for the ticket booth's 9am opening.  

Instead, she decided to have another cup of coffee at their Washington Square apartment - Hottix could wait. 

And with one spur of the moment decision, a multitude of lives changed for the better.

Closer to home for many of you is the Jimmy Dunne / Sandler O'Neill story, told several times by now but, originally, as part of a 60 Minutes segment in 2002.  Have a look, especially if your tear ducks need a quick cleanse. If nothing else, a reminder that Americans can come together.

Welcome Theodore...

The point is, on last Saturday especially, our attachment to a football game can seem pretty fucking trivial.  Because it is.  

An unexpected close game against a heavy underdog is the very definition of a 1st World problem - "wow, we sure 'escaped' that one." 

As if we even have a clue what it really means to escape anything.

The good news is that, other than being at the age where all the pop cultural icons of our youth are dying, we're also at the age where our own offspring are starting to go forth and multiply - providing much needed perspective in very tiny packages.  

And what's better than that?  

That is, besides Ohio State and USC losing on the same day...

Quote of the Week

"A child can teach an adult three things: 

1) to be happy for no reason 

2) to always be busy with something and 

3) to know how to demand with all his might that which (s)he desires."

                 Paolo Coelho

You can perhaps look at this pithy insight two ways:  

1) Even at our age, we still need to be taught things, only now the lessons are coming from our grandchildren 

OR... 

2)  If you thought we were great parents, wait til you see the Class of 79's mad grand-parenting skills.

Word of the Week

Used in a sentence paragraph:  As Young Jerrence's post-tailgate Bloody Mary euphoria began to wear out, he was starting to see the ugly truth. 

No, he wasn't referring to his viewing partner - the one known as Feif - but rather the unattractive state of Notre Dame's O-line. 

Perhaps coach Rees didn't think he needed the artifices which so many other seemingly less talented teams required:  the jet sweeps and flea flickers etc.  

Well coach, Jerrence thought, think again.   And I suggest you do it really quickly.

Game 2 Thoughts

It's been, effectively, two years since we've been able to have this scene:  the sublime mixture of friends, family and whomever Peter & Bonnie met in a bar the night before.

Fabuloso.

On top of the weekend going so well... perfect weather, perfect Friday night guests...

Just a regular Friday night with the Belknaps

Then came Game time.

 

Like the castle in its corner

In a medieval game

I foresee terrible trouble

And I stay here just the same...

"Friends, Domers, Countrymen, lend me your ears

I come to bury (Kelly / Freeman / Quinn), not to praise him (them)..."

Oh boy.

1)  Was it me or did Kelly's post-game press conference demeanor scream, "we are so fucked."

So, Jugdish, going to the big Econ tailgater tomorrow?

2)  In hindsight, perhaps we should've recognized that when Castellini headed over to the nearby Economics Dept. tailgater, that, maybe, our collective focus on Toledo was not entirely what it needed to be.

3) Tyler Buchner.  Putting the lad into the game on his own 4 yard line, for his first action IN TWO YEARS, seemed an interesting call:  Shrewd?  Courageous?  Desperate? 

4) The Behrens Bloody Mary.  Worth the two year hiatus. 

Hey, pops, don't bogart that bloody...

5)  Houston Griffin.  How come, it seems, we invariably recruit the disappointing 5-stars?

Pop Quiz: name that movie (from the year we graduated).

6)   Kyren Williams.  Maybe it's time to admit his fumbling no longer represents a surprising aberration. 

Game Quote #1:  "A traffic cone would slow the rusher better than (Tosh) Baker." 

Game Quote #2:  "Coan moves in geological time."

(Somebody missed their true calling as both an analyst and wit.)

7)   Cain Madden.   Dude, we're not at Marshall anymore.

8)   I heard of a classmate - they call him The Milkman (why, I do not know - nor do I wish to) who has recently taken up knitting. 

A curious decision, I thought. 

Until the middle of the 4th Quarter, when the higher order benefits of crocheting came to me as if in a dream... 

9)  Drew Brees?    Early returns seemed... positive.   Y'all know that can't possibly last, right?  Not with Purdue coming up this week. 

Buddy's Buddy

In a game like Saturday, you'd think there'd be any number of worthwhile candidates, albeit none from the offensive line collection.

And I suppose there is, starting with the unsung heroes - the Stayer Lot tailgate hosts, alphabetically:  Behrens, Belknap, Castellini,  Flaherty, Rasmus, Sullivan (there in spirit).  

Truly the best manifestation of anything approximating a return to 2019 normalcy.

Then there's also one of the trainers, Mike Bean, doing his 'pull the finger' thing.  (I seem to recall that being an especially favored party gambit of Lini's at 801, albeit with significantly less success.)  With subsequently, Jack Coan throwing a perfect pass on the next play to win the game.  

"I got your dislocated finger right here, bub."

I'd also argue that JD Bertrand would be a more than defensible choice:  the kid has been a revelation, averaging 11 tackles and being pretty much an assignment sure, heat seeking missile at LB.

But knowing the late, great Buddy as we did, we know he'd have one, and only one, choice: Myron Tagovailoa-Amosa.  

Not only did he make the game-saving play, literally, but he did it on a day where the country was remembering... honoring... the greatest single loss of life on American soil.  

And he was doing so in the midst of the most personal of similar circumstances: the day his father was being buried 4300 miles away.

Sometimes Life is too damn ironic for its own good.

RE-PETE (a shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mailbag).

Mr. Sampson didn't have his usual mailbag this week - I suppose one cannot blame one's sub-contractor's non-delivery when one isn't compensating them for their efforts.  Or that they even know you're taking their content. 

What he has done in his latest article is outline what most would consider the three biggest questions confronting ND after two games:

1.  How will they manage the Coan - Buchner usage?
2.  Can the defense stop giving up big plays?
3.  Just how big of a fix is required for the O-line fix?

Those may have been presented in inverse order of priority - so for this week, let us therefore dwell on the latter:

Offensive line overhaul or just an adjustment?

The Irish are now unabashedly rebuilding on the offensive line during a season when the program’s premier position hoped to simply reload. Such is life with a group that returned just 31 career starts at Notre Dame and another 31 on the Group of 5 level from graduate transfer Cain Madden. Add in injuries to left tackles Blake Fisher and Michael Carmody, and the Irish are scrambling to make the best of a bad situation.

Only three Power 5 programs (Mississippi State, Arizona and Washington) average fewer yards per carry than Notre Dame’s 2.66. Only Rutgers has allowed more tackles for loss per game among Power 5 programs than Notre Dame’s 10. And no Power 5 program has allowed as many as Notre Dame’s five sacks per game. These are not the markers of an offensive line ready to lead a drive toward the College Football Playoff. On top of that, there’s the immediate matter of blocking Purdue’s George Karlaftis.

There won’t be any mass changes moving forward, with Kelly adamant center Jarrett Patterson doesn’t need to become left tackle Jarrett Patterson. But Kelly is open to rotating more at the guard spots, where Madden and Zeke Correll have been works in progress.

“We probably should rotate a little bit more inside, because we’re playing too many plays,” Kelly said. “And those guys, the load on them is a lot. They’re young players. So maybe you’ll see a little bit more of a rotation inside, but we’re playing our best five and now our best eight.”

That means freshman Rocco Spindler could see his first career action against Purdue, with veterans Andrew Kristofic or John Dirksen also possibilities. How much playing every snap is an issue for Correll and Madden is unclear ­— Notre Dame didn’t rotate Aaron Banks or Tommy Kraemer last season — and any change may be more performance-based than fatigue driven.

Regardless of what Notre Dame does at guard, the Irish will start their third offensive line combination in as many weeks if Carmody’s right ankle sprain keeps him sidelined against Purdue. Kelly said he’s a game-time decision. Fisher is already out through October following surgery to repair a meniscus injury suffered at Florida State.

On top of all this, Kelly said Notre Dame’s entire offensive operation was accountable for the 10 sacks already absorbed by Jack Coan. That includes Coan himself.

“When we look at it and evaluate pass protection, I think everybody says, ‘Well, how’s your offensive line doing?’” Kelly said. “We don’t feel like we’re in a bad position on the offensive line, we have to be cleaner and better and communication across the board with whether it’s a tight end that’s in protection or back or quarterback in terms of identifying who he has to throw off of.

“Think there were a couple of occasions where we didn’t pick up a corner blitz, and that’s generally not on the offensive line. And then I think we had a situation where we misidentified where blitz was coming from. So, a little bit of everything.”

Cocktail of the Week

What can I say - I'm a slave to a literary theme.  Perhaps more so, quite often, than is necessary.

And this week it's 9/11.

Not that there are many books out there on the subject that can be linked to a cocktail.  But this blogger found one.  And the fact that so much of his readership are fans of Manhattans, well that's just value-added. 

Extremely Drunk And Incredibly Close

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close (2005)

By Jonathan Safran Foer

From the boy wonder who put the "it" in "literature," this follow up to Foer's debut novel, Everything Is Illuminated was among the first works of fiction post-9/11 to use the tragedy as a major plot point.

In this case, we follow nine year old Oskar, whose father perishes in the Twin Towers, and who embarks on a New York City trek to find the missing lock that may or may not match up with a mysterious key.

Critics were divided - but then they hadn't tasted this twist on a classic Manhattan.

*  2 1/2 oz. rye whiskey

*  1 1/2 oz. sweet vermouth

*  1/2 oz. red wine

Pour the whiskey, sweet vermouth, and red wine into a mixing glass. 

Fill with ice and stir for 10 seconds.  Strain into a I Love NY mug and serve with a side of 'big apple.'  

Source: Tequila Mockingbird

Cocktails With A Literary Twist

by Tim Federle

Schedule.

September

 5                     @Florida St.    W

11                    Toledo      W

18                    Purdue

24                    Linipalooza X - FRIDAY NIGHT!

25                   @Wisconsin (Soldier Field)

October

 2                    Cincinnati     

 9                    @Va. Tech 

16                    BYE            

23                    USC

30                    UNC

November

6                    Navy          

13                  @UVA               

20                  Ga. Tech

27                  @Stanford

The Wager 

Here's a thought to ponder over a wee dram:  

Could Albert actually have been overly optimistic this year?

Wins	Archetype (Embodies)	Domer
12	Miracle On Ice   To be clear, ND running the table wouldn't come remotely close to approximating the USA ice hockey victory over Russia in '80.   Nothing in my lifetime will beat this.  Nor will anything exceed the guilt I still have for ruining this for Castellini. Still ND going 12-0 seems similarly tough to envision with the little we know right now.	Brian M. JP McG. John P. Bryan G. Gary H. Pat B. Dave M.
11	Kerry Strug One final vault.  Hit it, basically perfectly, and your country wins the gold medal. No pressure.  Oh and you just tore two ligaments in your ankle on your prior attempt - you can barely walk. But apparently, you still have one more sprint in you.  Boom!  Done. ND winning 11 games is not really analogous to this but right now, it's looking just as iffy.	Jay F. Bill B. Bob J.  Dave G. Peter B. Jim S. Jim B. Daryl M. Dennis R. Mike C.
10	Super Bowl III   In hindsight this probably wasn't nearly the shocker it was at the time - but it sure made the NFL sit up and take notice. At this point in the Kelly regime, ND winning 10 games is no longer unexpected.  And yet, they have a similar imperative (as the AFL did) to do this in order to get the football world to really buy in that ND is elite again.	Jerrence  Sloane B. Raz Phillip S. Jerry P. Kevin M. Jim T. Tim S. The Dim One Ungie Lini Bob S.  Blair R. Alex S. Ted C. Tom F. Randy R.  Mike G.
9	NC St over Phi Slamma Jamma   The 'improbable' relevance to ND success gets shakier as the win total gets lower...  A great game but unless you had money on it (I didn't), it was a fleeting feel good.  Relevance to 9 wins? None. But on this continuum this is where this sits.	Brian W. Garrett R.  Mike B. John L. Ward H.
8	Villanova over Georgetown  In terms of improbability, you could probably flip this game w NC State's victory - they were both pretty awesome in a vicarious way. These rankings all being relative vs. the others, it's feeling 8'ish even if it probably deserves better.	Albert B.
7	ND over Miami, 1988  Was this improbable at the time?  Depends on who you ask - and if they're honest. Miami owned ND in the '80s. And yet, Holtz & Co. made everyone believe.   Impressive, definitely.  But on a scale of 1-10 as unlikely, maybe a 7.
6	ND over Clemson, 2020 This victory - as necessary as it was for the program - gets somewhat devalued in terms of improbability: 1) ND was genuinely really good last year.   And playing at home. 2) Candidly, no Trevor Lawrence.
5	ND over Florida St., 1993   After the '88 Miami win, with Holtz still in charge... while never a 'lock', beating FSU was certainly no great surprise. And ultimately tempered by spitting the bit the next week against BC.
4	If anyone wishes to play down here...
3	...be my guest.

Schadenfreude.

At least for this particular section of the blog, Saturday was a great day.  Exceptional even.

Had Michigan also lost, I'd still be drinking.  But that's probably God's way of subtly saving me from myself.  He moves in mysterious ways, I'm told.

And hey, it's only Week 2 - there is still so much of the season to go. This football season, outside of Tuscaloosa, is shaping up to be a decidedly weird year.  Buckle up.

--------------------------------------------

1)   Ohio State.   tOSU cannot really be considered an ND rival in the truest sense of the word. We play them only very periodically and unlike with Michigan, there isn't much of a Venn diagram-like overlap in the students or athletes each school recruits. 

Yet, or maybe because of that, I find that program as detestable as any in the country.

So when they lose, it's party time.

My, my, my I'm so happy... 

2)  Texas.  "We're not in Alabama anymore, Toto coach Sark..."

3)   USC.   In light of the subsequent news of Clay Helton getting fired - he was, after all, The Gift That Kept On Giving - this outcome is perhaps more bittersweet than usual.  

Still, it was inevitable - the only bummer being it had to be at the hands of Stanford - and I'm not entirely averse to getting my Christmas presents a little early.

Terry's Tools.

This week's celebration of idiocy, poor decision making, flaunting of most 1st World social mores and behavior more typically associated with the long-term incarcerated... 

...is brought to you by the makers of Tools Beer whose Hunter S. Thompson-like mission statement references ''making stoopid an art form for 40+ years" and "any sissy can make wine."

Be proud, Dillon Hall.

Notably, this represents this blog's first advertisement - woo hoo! - and while not to be considered as what we might call in the profession, um, 'paid media', it is a baby step forward.

You have to start somewhere.

And what better Brand for this week's candidates to be associated with....

 

1) Parker Lewis.    You know it's not going to be a good day when on USC's opening kickoff, their kicker gets ejected for targeting.  

It's even worse when they look at the tape and see that might've represented the Trojan's best hit of the day.

Oh and now that Helton's out - it's always the kicker's fault - Brian Kelly will have faced five (5) different USC coaches in his 12 years (and surely six in 13 years in 2022).  Sooner or later, they're bound to get it right.

2). Anne Helen Petersen.    First off, Millennials are burned out?!   Since when?

Hello, you haven't even hit your mid-30's.  Talk to me after you've survived your children's middle school / high school years. I'll show you some real PTSD.

And now someone - Ms. Petersen - is suggesting that it's their parent's fault.  Which is to say, us.

Something to do with the prevalence of intense, overbearing parents who try to turn their children into 'mini-adults' too soon - placing them in  inappropriately early social situations with adults so as to fast track them for ultimate Life success, presumably through an elite college... or some such. 

The end result being a loss of unique personality and sense of self as the offspring become virtual mini-me's.  Or something like that.

If you could see yourself now

It's not my fault, you used to be so in control

FSU: Changes In Latitude

Dateline:  Flint Lake, IN

Feeling tired then I got inspired

I knew that it wouldn't last long

So all alone I walked back home

Sat at the beach and there I made up this blog...

Happy Labor Day to all.    Although with the increasing number of our brethren joining the ranks of the retired, one wonders what this holiday even means for many of you - a long weekend?  What's that?! Aren't they all? And what is this 'labor' thing of which you refer?

Well, I mock because I love.  And am more than a little envious.  Just a couple more years...

And for those retirees who perceived Sunday nights as a newfound oasis of stress-free existence, allow Notre Dame football to disabuse you of that notion.

Word of the Week

Used in a sentence paragraph:  As Young Jerrence's ire subsided over the recent to-do involving the offensive nature of the Fighting Irish leprechaun mascot, he began to see his opinion evolving on the subject. 

Perhaps the diminutive torches 'n pitchfork crowd had a point. Like their native American brethren,  the indigenous sprite population of the world had been mocked, marginalized with pejorative monikers, long enough and it was time for a change. 

The Notre Dame Fighting Korrigans had a nice ring to it, oui?

Quote of the Week

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."

Oscar Wilde

Meet the new blogger.  Same as the old blogger. 

Game 1 Thoughts

Get started, start a fire...

It certainly looked like we were starting on fire Sunday night, didn't it?

To be upfront about this - I'm taking a decidedly pollyanna, 'glass half full' approach to what we saw that evening... it was the first game of the year, for chrissakes, and for every team in the country not named Alabama or Georgia, 'uneven' performances were pretty much SOP.

So here's some thoughts, in non particular order...

1)  2nd play of the game and Zeke Correll jumps.  If we are Tight End U and/or O-Line U, we also have to be in the conversation for False Start U.  

2) Jack Coan.  That soul sucking sound you hear is the state of Wisconsin watching the Badgers and Irish QB play this past weekend and asking themselves, "Dear God, what did we do?"

3.  Grading (on a curve*) the Coordinators:

• Rees:   B.  At times, especially early, seemed like he was trying too hard to be overly clever but otherwise pretty solid.  You should win any game you put up 38 pts. in regulation time.
• Freeman.  C-.  What was with the 3-man fronts?! 
• Fun fact:  ND's D was on the field for 9:40 of the 4th quarter.  

One blogger's opinion:  I loved the pressure, attacking attitude.  And FSU's QB was (is) more elusive than most.  And I can live with giving up the occasional big play.  Kelly made an interesting comment after the game, that Freeman is now finding out just who he really has.   Or maybe, hasn't. 

And for anyone pining for Clark Lea, recall that he had a full year as an assistant with the team - to know who/what he had - before becoming the DC.  

*versus the other coordinators I saw over the weekend.  

4.  Michael Mayer.  You're a stud so you get a one game 'hall pass.' But those drops cannot keep happening. 

5.  To quote Brian Kelly, "What do you have to do to get a roughing the kicker call?" 

6.   Kyle Hamilton.  Could he actually be better than we thought?

7.  Maybe this is more of a commentary on FSU's team speed but I don't think Kyren is a fast as the ND coaching staff thinks he is.

8.  Carrot Top!  Dead solid perfect.

9.   Finally, can someone explain to me how FSU can still get away with the Indian chief -in-war paint- on-horseback mascot, and the tomahawk chop?  If something as generic* as a Cleveland Indian is problematic, how the hell do they get away with that?!  Just when you think you can't be surprised by Florida any more...

*Or as imaginary as a leprechaun. 

Buddy's Buddy

"He went to Paris 

Looking for answers  

To questions 

That bothered him so..."

So for the past nine months, as a few (many?) of you might know, we've been playing foster parents to our daughter Shea's dog, Jack.

And for those of you familiar with Brian Doyle's novel, "Chicago", just know that Jack is the essence of Edward, a dog - and one of the book's central characters - of some significant erudition and insight.  Like Edward, Jack has been equal parts pet and confidant but perhaps more importantly the beta test in the marriage as to whether Jerrence was up to being able to, ultimately, take care of a dog of his own.

Well, good news and bad news:  Jerrence passed that test - huzzah! - but the pilot program has now been terminated. 

Last week, Jack (call me Jacques) has joined Shea back in Paris, ostensibly to sample the full spectrum of French wines and cheeses, ride the metro, people watch at sidewalk cafes  and occasionally seduce unsuspecting jeune fille.  

And, likely, never to return to these parts again.  

But we'll always have Flint Lake, Jack.

(And see you at Christmas.)

RE-PETE (a shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mailbag).

One of the more over-used (and increasingly irritating) expressions that's crept into journalistic vernacular is the "there's a lot to unpack" observation.

Unpack? What are we, valets?  

In any event, Sunday night did give ND Nation several things to re-hash (and there was much rejoicing for that in the blogger universe).

On the top of that list had to be the universally dismissive critique of the Freeman defense.  So let's hear from someone with greater acumen on the topic than any of us:

I feel everyone is overreacting to Marcus Freeman’s defense. The first three quarters were suffocating, and more sacks would have occurred if Jordan Travis wasn’t so mobile. Clearly the three down linemen is not a tactic he is going to use unless up big. Is it just me or is this total overreaction?

Andy C.

It’s difficult to look back at Sunday night, compare it to the “reaction” from fans and figure out whether people are overreacting to a an incredibly uneven defensive performance or not. What makes Freeman’s three-man fronts unique is that he plays them with 4-3 personnel, basically taking Isaiah Foskey and sticking him at inside linebacker. This is something Freeman did at Cincinnati, although he didn’t have any Foskey types on the roster. The concept of spacing defenders all over the field is supposed to be an RPO killer, but Florida State was not having a ton of success in that scheme.

For example, in the first half Notre Dame used the 3-4 front on four snaps. Florida State had two carries for seven yards, plus two completions on two attempts for 16 yards. That’s fine. In the second half, Notre Dame used three-man fronts on 21 snaps. Florida State has 12 carries for 87 yards (7.25 yards per carry). The Seminoles also completed 5 of 9 passes for 38 yards and took a sack.

It’s worth remembering Brian Kelly hired Marcus Freeman after watching these exotic 3-4 schemes at Cincinnati and presumably endorsing them. Was Notre Dame in three-man fronts too much in the fourth quarter on Sunday night? Yes. But it’s not like Freeman should just scrap the concept that helped him get hired at Notre Dame in the first place.

So again, what’s the reaction? That Freeman doesn’t know what he’s doing defensively? That would be an overreaction, yes. Just like naming him coach-in-waiting before he had coached a single game here was an overreaction. Personally, I want to see where Freeman goes next with his package. Changeup? Base? Trash can? The hunch is the 3-4 becomes more of a changeup (not to be confused with the 3-3-5 nickel package) the rest of the season.

Look, Freeman got an education at Florida State. This isn’t Cincinnati anymore, where performances (good and bad) go under the radar. Everything at Notre Dame matters all the time. That’s what Freeman signed up for coming to South Bend (the same would have applied to Baton Rouge). Honestly, I’m more interested in how he adapts personnel usage than scheme. Does D.J. Brown continue to get work at the back? How does the linebacker rotation work? Is there a third corner outside of nickel? In re-watching the game, you’ll notice a lot of reserves on the field for Florida State’s biggest moments. Perhaps the Irish aren’t as deep as they thought.

By the way, it’s OK to give Freeman some space to learn on the job. This is all new for him. Expecting perfection on opening night on the road is a bit much.

Cocktail of the Week

What's the appropriate libation for a perfect Labor Day weekend and yet thematically justifiable for the game we witnessed?

It should be seasonally relevant and represent perhaps, slyly, a geographical tie-in.  It'd be great if it could also be epic - after all, we had a packed stadium and a 7M person viewing audience.

There needs to be, of course, a dollop of drama, albeit perhaps more so than is necessary. But we're creatures of excess, no?  Ultimately, wildly enjoyable, at least to those without any personal connections... hmmm.  

Gone With The Wine

Gone With The Win (1936)

By Margaret Mitchell

When Margaret Mitchell proclaimed that Wind was a story of survival, she was likely referring to her heroine, Scarlett O'Hara, who starts off a southern belle and ends up losing the hoop skirt to scavenge for food.                                                                                                                          You'll call yourself a survivor, too, when you get through the 1000'ish pages.                                                                                                                                                                               A Pulitzer winner for the plucky Mitchell - her second marriage was to the best man at her first marriage - Wind is an enduring money-maker.   

Gather a group, skip the movie, scour the book and cool off a boiling discussion with this sangria:  red as the earth of Tara and packed with proper Georgia peaches.

MAKES ABOUT 6 DRINKS

*  1 bottle red wine (~ 3 cups)
*  2 oz. peach brandy 

*  2 tblsp. sugar

*  1 peach, chopped into cute little squares

*  1 orange, cut into bite-sized wedges

*  2 1/2 cups ginger ale, chilled

Pour the wine, brandy, sugar and fruits into a large pitcher and stir. Place the pitcher in the fridge and allow to infuse for at least an hour.  When guess need a break - you'll know, because someone will refer to Ashley as a girl; this person did not read the book - top the pitcher off with ginger ale and serve over ample ice.  

It's cool down time.

Source: Tequila Mockingbird

Cocktails With A Literary Twist

by Tim Federle

Schedule.

September

 5                     @Florida St.    W

11                    Toledo    - 1st Stayer Tailgate in 2 years!  

18                    Purdue

24                    Linipalooza X - FRIDAY NIGHT!

25                   @Wisconsin (Soldier Field)

October

 2                    Cincinnati     

 9                    @Va. Tech 

16                    BYE            

23                    USC

30                    UNC

November

6                    Navy          

13                  @UVA               

20                  Ga. Tech

27                  @Stanford

The Wager.

For those following such things, there are five (5) future opponents presently ranked in the Top 25:  

• #7, 14, 18, 19 and 24th 

"8-win Al" has got to be feeling pretty comfortable right about now.

Wins	Archetype (Embodies)	Domer
12	Miracle On Ice   To be clear, ND running the table wouldn't come remotely close to approximating the USA ice hockey victory over Russia in '80.   Nothing in my lifetime will beat this.  Nor will anything exceed the guilt I still have for ruining this for Castellini. Still ND going 12-0 seems similarly tough to envision with the little we know right now.	Brian M. JP McG. John P. Bryan G. Gary H. Pat B. Dave M.
11	Kerry Strug One final vault.  Hit it, basically perfectly, and your country wins the gold medal. No pressure.  Oh and you just tore two ligaments in your ankle on your prior attempt - you can barely walk. But apparently, you still have one more sprint in you.  Boom!  Done. ND winning 11 games is not really analogous to this but right now, it's looking just as iffy.	Jay F. Bill B. Bob J.  Dave G. Peter B. Jim S. Jim B. Daryl M. Dennis R. Mike C.
10	Super Bowl III   In hindsight this probably wasn't nearly the shocker it was at the time - but it sure made the NFL sit up and take notice. At this point in the Kelly regime, ND winning 10 games is no longer unexpected.  And yet, they have a similar imperative (as the AFL did) to do this in order to get the football world to really buy in that ND is elite again.	Jerrence  Sloane B. Raz Phillip S. Jerry P. Kevin M. Jim T. Tim S. The Dim One Ungie Lini Bob S.  Blair R. Alex S. Ted C. Tom F. Ted C. Randy R.  Mike G.
9	NC St over Phi Slamma Jamma   The 'improbable' relevance to ND success gets shakier as the win total gets lower...  A great game but unless you had money on it (I didn't), it was a fleeting feel good.  Relevance to 9 wins? None. But on this continuum this is where this sits.	Brian W. Garrett R.  Mike B. John L. Ward H.
8	Villanova over Georgetown  In terms of improbability, you could probably flip this game w NC State's victory - they were both pretty awesome in a vicarious way. These rankings all being relative vs. the others, it's feeling 8'ish even if it probably deserves better.	Albert B.
7	ND over Miami, 1988  Was this improbable at the time?  Depends on who you ask - and if they're honest. Miami owned ND in the '80s. And yet, Holtz & Co. made everyone believe.   Impressive, definitely.  But on a scale of 1-10 as unlikely, maybe a 7.
6	ND over Clemson, 2020 This victory - as necessary as it was for the program - gets somewhat devalued in terms of improbability: 1) ND was genuinely really good last year.   And playing at home. 2) Candidly, no Trevor Lawrence.
5	ND over Florida St., 1993   After the '88 Miami win, with Holtz still in charge... while never a 'lock', beating FSU was certainly no great surprise. And ultimately tempered by spitting the bit the next week against BC.
4	If anyone wishes to play down here...
3	...be my guest.

Schadenfreude.

Readers of this space may recall that, this time of year I am typically whinging about the month of September being 'schedule the cupcakes' season. Nary an opportunity to revel in a spirit-lifting loss of a team you loathe.

Well, apparently, no longer. Big games to kick off the season seem to now have become de rigueur.  Unless you're Michigan. (Enjoy it while it lasts, coach Harbaugh.)

And why anyone schedules Alabama as their first game - unless you really, really need that money - is beyond me.

1)   UNC.   You could argue that we should want our opponents winning right up until they play us but schadenfreude doesn't work that way.  The heart wants what it wants.  And Jerrence's heart wants the world reminded just how mediocre of a coach Mack Brown really is.

2)  Wisconsin.  Call this the Jack Coan 'How Ya Like Me Now?' Bowl.

3)   LSU.   There are a lot of very nice people from Louisiana - many of whom, presently, have far more to worry about than a football game.  But for a program that seems to get mentioned, at least recruiting-wise, in the same breath as Bama/Georgia/Clemson, boy have they been bad.  And since we seem to be more actively recruiting there, we could use for that program to lose some of its gravitational pull on their local athletes.

Terry's Tools.

Okay, this week, let us start by offering a blinding glimpse of the obvious:

Coach Kelly, perhaps stand up comedy is not as much in your wheelhouse as you may seem to believe.

Nonetheless, hardly a hanging offense.  And for those outraged by his butchering of an old John McKay witticism ("What did you think of your team's execution? I'm in favor of it."),  I'd quote Sergeant Hulka, "Lighten up, Francis." 

I think there are better, far more deserving, candidates this week:

 

1) Mike Norvell.     I could be arguably accused of kicking a man when he's down but as the expression goes, "If you get the chance to ice your own kicker in OT, you just gotta do it."

2). ND Nation.    You'd think that after all these years, I'd be able to control my emotions about my whiny, know it all, mommy-still-does-my-laundry ND fan brethren (present audience, of course, excluded).  They're so freaking predictable.  

And yet. 

You knew the 'Fire Freeman' tweets were gonna come but I was still surprised by the vitriol aimed at the announcers.  I know, predictable Jerrence!  

Except that, the announcing team was consistently complimentary about ND...  McElroy was SPOT ON in his "why are they using a 3-man rush" observation and the McKenzie Milton gushing - yes, over the top - was totally WARRANTED!  

The kid almost lost his leg (!), hadn't played in two years and in his first snaps under center, he's leading a comeback on national TV against an iconic program?!   If that had been an ND QB, the fanbase would've bitched about them under-selling the moment. 

The point is, announcers make sacrifices to pagan gods for that once-in-a-career scenario.  I swear, we could have Knute Rockne broadcasting our games and there'd be ND fans bitching about his Norwegian accent.

3) Bishop Sycamore.  Or ESPN? Perhaps you read about this:  IMG, the Florida-based top ranked high school football program waxes a team 56-0 on national TV.  Nothing especially unusual about that. Except there was something very unusual about their opponent.  Like they'd already played two days before, the credentials of their players weren't nearly as lofty as indicated and perhaps the school itself wasn't even, um, real.  

Oops.  It's really quite fascinating to read how the scam got pulled off and many due diligence balls got dropped.

There's a cat fishing joke in here somewhere. 

4)  PGA.  What to do about the fans that cross the line during sporting events - be it the spewing of racial, sexual or cultural epithets?   I think we can all agree there's no place for that and in such cases, should be dealt with swiftly and powerfully.  

Not sure, however, where the incessant shouts of "Brooksie!" should fall (if at all) on that continuum.  

And yet, the PGA Tour, seemingly acquiescing to one of its marquee players with the delicate sensitivities of a 12 yr. old school girl, has deemed such utterances as an act of the highest impropriety, to be banished from the kingdom.  Good grief. 

While you're at it, PGA governing body, maybe you could get said snowflake it hurry the f*** up when he plays.  I like watching many of the tournaments but Bryson, we've got other things to do than wait for you to calibrate God knows what... 

Oh, and this song's for you, Patrick Cantley...

5)  Unknown UNC guy.'  File this under 'Dad, what were ya thinking?"  One of Life's great truisms:  you can't fix stupid. 

Final Thought

Want a family 'feel good' film to watch after seeing your favorite team struggle on the national stage for four quarters, in turn making you wonder about your life choices especially, but not limited to, those involving the last weekend's TV viewing and/or what region of Scotland to visit next weekend because your brain's ability to quickly minimize painful experiences is nearly inexhaustible?

Try CODA.