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Thursday, September 14, 2017

Week 2: I See Red

When the night falls, it falls on me.
And when the day breaks, I'm in pieces...


Well, that sucked.  

Kay Corrigan would often say that bad news come in 3's... to which I'd often reply what about good news mom quickly followed by a response of eat your carrots Terry they're good for your eyes you don't want to end up with freakish Coke bottle lenses like your older brothers...

I never did find out in what multiples good news travels. 

But I digress.

So Saturday evening's outcome wasn't entirely a surprising - the clues were there:


As if I didn't see enough red this weekend
1.  "It", the remake of the Stephen King film opened last week without a creepy clown anywhere near the caliber of Tim Curry.  

Though an $117M weekend box office would suggest the unwashed masses thought otherwise.  




Twisty,I can't help but notice those are Ohio St. colors...
2.  American Horror Story's new season started last week as well,  fittingly set in Michigan...

... and immediately featured an old favorite, psychopathic serial killer Twisty the Clown, as well scores of other menacing clowns who may or may not be imaginary. 



3.  ND's offensive line.  
Clowns to the left of me.
Jokers to my right.   

Stuck in the middle with you...
Brandon Wimbush, 9/9/17 



Like Kay said, bad things come in three's. Especially clowns.


Game Day/Night Observations


So it would seem that we still have a long, long way to go.
I've seen all I want to see today...
Turn it off, if you want to...
Switch it off - or look away.

Was there ever a song more fitting for the 'right here, right now' state of ND football?

What I saw:

1.  Mike McGlinchey. OVER-RATED! OVER-RATED!  1st round draft choice, my ass.
2.  Wimbush.  Gotta say, disappointed.  Still, the village elders cautioned me to be patient with him.
3.  WR's.  Is those guys really the best we've got?
4.  Aliz√© Mack.  Coming up small.  Again.
5.  Where was Dexter?
Game changer - but where, exactly, is the foul?
6.  Elko is The Man.  If there's any cause for optimism, this guy can coach.  Let's hope he makes it to Year 2, with better players.
7.  ND Stadium.  The Most Accepting Arena on Earth.
8. In-stadium Experience.  WiFi, excellent. Non-wood seats accommodating today's Plus-sized fan, check.  Jumbotron which one can see across the entire stadium, awesome.  

9.  Daelin Hayes is gonna be really good.  Unfortunately, UGA has, like, 8 Daelin's.
10.  And yet, we still should've won. 

11.  Everything is Kelly's fault.  Or Swarbrick's. Or Jenkin's.  Or God's.
11. The Red Sea.  WTF?!  And I'm green-red deficient color blind. I can only imagine what it looked like to the rest of you.


 Not that one.

 THAT one. 


One man's hypothesis:   I blame Saturday's UGA Barbarians Inside The Gate travesty on Notre Dame's new ticket pricing policy.  Which is to say, when you run your economic model for optimal revenue generation, you've eliminated your historical middle class base - and open it up to the visiting team zealots who want to see a football mecca and the opportunity (in this case) to kick some northern ass. Some fast, rough math:
     Tickets     $300-400 (2 x $150-200)
     Parking         50
     Bookstore  100
     Concession  50          
     Total. . . . $500-600

And that doesn't include travel.  So, yeah, that's not gonna work for a lot of your subway alumni loyalists.

Upon further reflection of the above, I may be more upset now than immediately after the game - which admittedly, was probably due to the tempering influence of the esteemed Dr. McGuire's presence.  (His is a magnetic charisma about him that's really quite intoxicating.)

And the Red Breast Irish whiskey night cap.

Scenes From The Tailgater


 
Famous F-bomb #98: where the f***
did all these Georgia tools come from?
 
Eight hours later and still untouched.
So it would appear, Mary,
our audience is not a heart healthy crowd. 

Peter, I'll give you an hour to move your hand...


Your shirt wouldn't be Nantucket red, would it?
 
Shari gets in her Help the Handicapped
commitment for the day...
 
Meanwhile, back in Naples... 

Schedule

September
2      Temple                  W        
9     Georgia                   L - inipalooza VII
16    @Boston College 
23    @Michigan State
30    Miami (OH)        

October
7      @UNC         
14                       
21    USC                
28   NC State                    

November
4      Wake Forest                   
11     @Miami                     
18     Navy              
25    @Stanford




The Wager

Bryan / Brian / Joe, you deserved better. 

Please check if I've got you on the scorecard below and if I have you accurately accounted for as paid (highlighted). 

Wins
Trumpian Rating
Contestant
12

Yuge.
Greatest Achievement,
In The History of The World.

Bryan G, Brian M, Joe S
11
Dave MRaz The Elder,
10



Failure.
Losers and Nut Jobs,
All Of ‘Em.
Terry, Jay, Lini, JP, John P, Phillip, Ted, Peter B, Daryl
9
Matt L, Graham C, Mark UShea C, Dennis R, Bob J
8
Dave G, Kevin C, Jim S, Jerry P, Tim S, Alex S, Jim B, Brian W,  Spittler the Elder, Blair
7
Bill B, Jim T, Tim C, Mike C, Mike G, Jerry W, Kevin M, Tom F,  Ryan CGarrett R
6
Ray V, Alvin B, John L, Randy Ri, Ward H
5
Jim R, Randy Ra,
4

3 or less


Buddy's Buddy

By rights this should've been Justin Yoon's "Harry Oliver" moment.  

Or maybe more accurately his Reggie Ho opportunity.

 Tip toeing into semi-legendary ND football status by winning a closely contested game.  




I prefer the hoppier ales, uncle Peter...



Drive ~ 45 yds. in the last :35.
Kick the winning FG as time expires.
Single-handedly change the course of the season.
BCS! BCS!

Yeah, nah.  

Instead, I'm going with little Lucy,, the cute little girl I saw at the tailgater... the one with the bad judgment in men and the good eye for where the alcohol is kept. 

And this won't be the last heart she breaks. 





Schadenfreude of the Montb 
"Celebrating The Misfortune of Other Teams Since 1956"


The problem is, this time of year, that precious few teams play genuinely meaningful games - and unless your Baylor (I'm tired of beating that dead horse and it's not out of the realm of possibility that their coach could be our next one) or Texas A&M, the odds of a genuine, life-affirming upset is exceedingly low.



1.  tOSU.  Wow, at home, getting spanked on national TV by Oklahoma (and how come their 1st year coach can come right in and excel?!) and the pitchforks are already out for Urban in Columbus. Travel alert:  Buckeye fans are scary on the nicest of days, losing last week - coming off a 31-0 Fiesta Bowl smoking by Clemson - makes them Category 5 dangerous.  


2.  Stanford.  Now the bad news is that they got handled by an increasingly formidable USC but we'll worry about that in a month.  We really need Stanford to return to earth, football-wise, and who doesn't enjoy David Shaw's Mr. Grumpy-pants expression?



Terry's Trolls


"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain..."
Friedrich Schiller
Poet, Philosopher & Playwright


Turns out natural disasters do tend to bring the good out in people so with hurricanes a-ragin' all over down south, there's been precious few notable bad boys (or girls). I guess that's a good thing.  That said:


1.  Brian Kelly.  Not so much to jump on the 'fire Kelly' bandwagon as put him on notice - 'The Return of Angry Brian' at his press conferences is not a good look.  Lighten up.

2.  Texas Rangers.  This is a bit dated - but did everyone see a few weeks back, when Houston was getting washed off the map and local sports-related logistics were being re-thought, Ranger management declared nyet to a proposed swap of home-and-home game dates.  Why?  Because they could.  The expression, "character isn't made, it's revealed" comes to mind.  Assholes.

Final Thought.

Jerrence's 'J' Club membership renewed - huzzah!


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