Search This Blog

Monday, December 21, 2015

Pre-Bowl: Whobilation!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

"Let us go then, you and I
When the evening is spread across the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table..."

That could describe almost any number of nights out with Class of '79 mates one of which notably ended in a pre-Christmas snow bank outside Grace Hall after 1st semester exams were finished is there a more glorious feeling than walking out of that last one knowing pals are waiting for a run to Corby's grammar is so overrated but I digress this is in fact the opening words from T.S. Eliot's "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock" - a classic in literature that is celebrating 100 years in print.

100 years.  Yowzer.  My how time flies when you're having fun.  Just like this football season. 

Interestingly T.S. - may I call you Tom? - also wrote "The Waste Land," a literary effort which is considered one of the most important poems of the 20th century albeit not, to popular belief, a foretelling of Notre Dame: The 1978-79 Senior Bar Experience.  

Though Dillon Hall may have drawn its inspiration in the work.  

So consider this the penultimate blog of a 2015 season that did indeed go awfully fast and had more than it's share of etherized evenings spread across the sky, both in South Bend and points all around the country.  They never get old, even if we do. 

Quote of the Week

May you all hear Christmas carols this week, even when they're not actually playing. 

The Final Wager(s)
This is not the 2016 Lindon ski trip, as much as it appears so...
What's better than a Hateful Eight? 

How about a Dubious Dozen? 

Delusional Dozen?

Degenerate Dozen?

All of the above? 

Your twelve 2015 football pool candidates - and what an eclectic bunch it is... scholars, captains of industry, rogues, Republicans... even millennials.

Victory dance. Or "got my daughter married this year" spasm...
1.  Jerry Perez
2.  Jerry Cincotta
3.  John Lohn
4.  Matt Lindon 
5.  Ted Carnevale
6.  Tim Sullivan
7.  Jerry Castellini
8.  Jim Belknap
9.  Tim Corrigan
10.  Graham Corrigan
11. Ryan Corrigan
12.  Terry Corrigan

Their final quest:  1.  Pick the winners, with spreads, and 2. Pick the over / under for The Big Five games:

Game (Spread)
Over / Under
Oklahoma v. Clemson (+3.5)
Alabama v. Michigan St (+9.5)
Michigan vs. Florida (+4.5)
Ohio State v. ND (+6.5)
Stanford v. Iowa (+6.5)

So there are 10 data points from which the dozen finalists have to submit - and separate themselves from the pack.   And in case that doesn't do the trick...

Tiebreaker #1:  Name at least two classic works of literature published in 1915, celebrating 100 years in print.

Hint: Actresses! They weren't this attractive in real life...

Tiebreaker #2:  Who was the youngest of the three Bronte sisters - Emily, Charlotte or Anne?

I've Always Been Good At Jeopardy
Now for something completely different... 

Word of the Week.

Decemnovenarianize (v.)

To act like a person of the 19th century.

Used in a sentence:    During Christmastimes of the late '90s and early '00s, young Terrence would often channel his inner Dickens and  decemnovenarianize from time to time - dressing up in olde English garb, referring to his older brother as Tiny Tim and playing the "Victorian Debtors' Prison Game" with his daughters - which involved telling them they were orphans, serving thin, tasteless gruel and making them sleep in a closet-sized rooms without heat.  Good times. 

And it beat having to face another year of Notre Dame losing in a meaningless bowl game.

Buddy's Buddy

Miss Philippines, aka Miss Universe.   Is it shallow to pick a recipient merely on smoking hot looks alone?  

Hey, Buddy liked the ladies.  Heck, he lived in a household of beauties!  And had a Philippino housekeeper in Italy (though she looked nothing like our award winner, which probably explained why she was cleaning homes in Milan and not Miss Universing it in the Philippines).   

I digress. We are honoring the Budster's memory...  

But outside of the purely physical, how about grace under pressure while a billion people watch your disappointment as you get 'close but no cigar' - followed quickly by the surprise-my-bad-you-really-did-win-I'm-super sorry-for-my-inability-to-read award?  


The Schedule

5       Texas                  W    
12     @ Virginia         W
19     Georgia Tech    W
26     UMass               W 

3      @ Clemson        L
Next up - the Ohio State... 
10     Navy                 W
17     USC                  W
31     @ Temple         W


7      @ Pitt                W
14     Wake Forest     W
21     @ BC (Fenway Park)    W
28     @ Stanford       L

1       Ohio State

Terry's Trolls

"Coach, it's Xmas and I was taking one off the street..."
1.  Adolphus Washington

Putting the 'ho' back into the seasonal "ho ho ho..."  

Merry Christmas. 

How'd they catch me? I was in my 'Mr. Robot' disguise.
2.  Martin Shkreli.   You're the new poster child for Wall Street greed with your aren't I a clever boy "let me raise the price of my drug 5000% because I'm more committed to my shareholders than I am to morality" and sure, you've just been arraigned on  security fraud charges but I'm 32 and INVINCIBLE so WTF...  

But that's not why you're a Tool of the Week, though either would certainly be enough.  

No, this recognition is for your $2 million purchase of a (the?) single Wu Tang Clan album - which you think makes you a badass.  Seriously?  Dumbass. 

You can take the boy out of LSU but you can't take...
3.  Odell Beckham Jr.  WR's are a special species.  And by 'special' I mean narcissist sociopaths, generally.  Put them in NYC and one is especially asking for trouble.  Put a really, really talented one in that city, in a game with Cam "I'm Not An Athlete, I'm An Entertainer" Newton and a talented CB with his own anger management issues... and oh boy. 

Now you're not gonna play against the Vikings this week - in a game my Packers could actually use you.  Tool. 

4.  Steve Harvey.   You had one job which essentially involved reading a name.  

And yet...

As I recall, the last time someone disappointed the Colombians this badly, this... globally... it was World Cup '94 and that guy ended up sleeping with the fishes.  

Good luck, Steve. One would guess your heartfelt Twitter apology just isn't gonna suffice. 

An English Major Walks Into A Bar…

Come Christmas Week, my drink of choice becomes the classic Egg Nog:  a little spiced rum, a little nutmeg... yum.  

But my Book of Literary Libations has no such holiday drink-inspired parody so one must make do.  

Still creamy and liquored up, if not exactly as yuletide appropriate as one might hope.  

The Wonderful Blizzard of Oz

(The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, 1900)
By Frank L. Baum
A poppy culture legend!  If your knowledge of Dorothy (and her little dog too) extends no further than the perennial classic film, you ought to take a look at the book that began it all -  lest you miss the spicy stuff (killer bees, a crow-murdering Scarecrow) that didn't quite make it to the silver screen.  

Baum intended the novel as a one-time effort but his publishers basically printed cash with his Wonderful words and 14 books in all appeared over 20 years. 

Follow your heart, freeze your brain and have the courage to create a drink fit for a good witch:  yellow as a brick road and swirly as a twister.
  •      2 oz. spice rum
  •      5 oz. pineapple juice
  •      2 oz. coconut cream (e.g. Coco Real Cream of Coconut)
  •      1 banana
Add the ingredients, plus a handful of ice, to a blender.  Blend until smooth and pour into a rocks or highball glass.  Now, click your heels - or glasses - three times.  

"There's no place like A Lot, there's no place like A Lot..."

Final Thought - I

But it will get you through the Ohio State...

Final Thought - II

Did you know that the Davies brothers are speaking again?  Christmas comes early for Kinks fans!

No comments:

Post a Comment