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Thursday, September 15, 2022

Week 2: We AREN'T Marshall!

I'm through with buzz...'... 

Dateline:  Notre Dame, IN

Jerrence's Saturday, a capsule summary:

  • Bloody Mary
  • Paloma
  • Beer 
  • Beer
  • Beer 
  • Beer
And what did he have to show for it?  An embarrassing loss and despite his best efforts, jarring sobriety.

Sure the weather was grand, the tailgate was impressively attended, great food, drink and conversation... - Hey ND football, start holding up your end of the bargain - you're supposed to be a buzz enhancer, not a buzz kill.

Quote of the Week

"When you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."        
Frederich Nietzsche 

And if by 'abyss', Fred meant a '12 oz. IPA'... yes, Jerrence did a lot of staring on Saturday afternoon.  By the mid-4th quarter, that beer wasn't just gazing at him, it was mocking him.  

Word of the Week

Used in a sentence paragraph
:  Young Jerrence woke up on Sunday, seemingly no worse for wear yet still baffled by the somnambulant effort put forth by the collecrtive Notre Dame team.  

The energy level, or lack thereof, from each group, screamed, "I would prefer not", as in prefer not to block, tackle, catch... maybe some other, more convenient time for the Irish.  Reminding Jerrence of an equally desultory experience back in the '90s when he and Defarge drove to a small town in Brittany, ostensibly to visit an interesting small museum while we were in the area.  Upon arrival, we were greeted by a man sitting at a card table with a stack of papers by his side.

"We're here for the tour."

"Zee tour? Oh, I don't theenk so.  I have all zees papers to get through.  I would prefer tomorrow."

"Oh you would prefer tomorrow? We're not here tomorrow but okay, motherf-----"

The French.  

Jerrence thought, perhaps that's how he should describe the Marshall game to those who hadn't witnessed it:  it was like the Thundering Herd played the French. 

Game 2:  Thoughts

What else should I say?
All apologies...

This is the place in the blog where I remind everyone I really don't know f*ck all about football - remember, English major / wussie HS placekicker here - and what little I thought I knew, I've now thrown in the metaphorical trash.

So take the following few comments accordingly:

1) Transfer portal.  For all the ignominy about losing to Marshall, fun fact:  they took in 39 transfers this past year.  So perhaps they weren't quite as devoid of talent as one might've thought.

2) Fluke or No fluke?     No fluke. Marshall was clearly the better team, all day long. Chalk that game up to things you can't unsee.

3)  Are you a betting man? 
  With this offense?  Always bet the 'under.'

4)  ND vs. Cal.  If you needed a reason to go to this week's game, let it be this*:

* This assumes you've seen the Netflix two episode "Untold" documentary on Manti.  If not, run don't walk to watch. Equal parts heartbreaking and inspiring.  And if ever someone knows something about resilience - and deserves to be feted for it - it's him.

Buddy's Buddy

Sorry, not this week.

Buddy deserves better.  A lot better. (Don't we all.)

Sure, Michael Mayer is balling but his time will come for a more fitting game.  I hope.

So, no nominee this week.  Wait.  There might be one person.  

Mystery tailgate host.  Whomever brought the panini's from Martin's to the tailgate...  those were pretty fabulous.  Who knew they'd be practically the highlight of the day.

RE-PETE (A shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mail-bag)

I'm guessing this was a week that Mr. Sampson was NOT in a tearing rush to retrieve his mail. 

Talk about 'don't shoot the messenger.'

In this week of wild over-reaction (see Tools below), three questions seem to dominate ND fandom's minds, in no particular order:

1) How (soon) does this get fixed?
2) Is it already Steve Angeli time?
3) Is Freeman still the right guy for the job?

Questions 2 and 3 still feel very premature (certainly #3 more than #2) so let's dwell on the first for now... 

I’m coming in for the Stanford game on Oct. 15. That gives Freeman about a month to fix everything (more realistically, for the line to jell and Rees to adjust the playbook). Can you give me a best-case scenario, a realistic scenario and a “Well, at least you’ll have your dad’s gumbo to look forward to” scenario as to what I’ll see in that game? — Catherine B.

Is this the Catherine B., recently featured in our humble publication?

Aside from the obvious best-case scenario, i.e. you’re watching Notre Dame win its fourth straight game that night, it’s realistic for both lines of scrimmage to take major steps forward between now and then.

As much as we (myself included) got out over our skis about Harry Hiestand working with the line, another month of practice and game tape will either prove Hiestand still can develop college linemen or Notre Dame will be in major trouble. And as poorly as the line has been, giving it more than one game with this starting lineup seems reasonable. Maybe there’s not a dominant line here. But there needs to at least be a good one, which would be an improvement from its current state of affairs.

The defensive line, in a lot of ways, is the most confounding position group on the team. There should have been no learning curve from Mike Elston to Al Washington, who inherited a position both old and talented. This line should have been able to get pressure by rushing four. Instead, the Irish have four sacks through two games. Two came when Notre Dame rushed six. One came when Notre Dame rushed five. That’s not good enough.

As Al Golden pointed out Tuesday night, it’s not just the failure to get sacks from the defensive line that hurts. It’s been the lack of havoc that pressure can force, whether that’s a rushed throw, a tipped pass or a strip sack. There are a lot of reasons why the Irish haven’t forced a turnover. But the biggest may be the lack of production from a starting lineup that could include three draft picks.

If both lines aren’t right by Stanford, it’s hard to believe Notre Dame will be by USC

Source:  The Athletic
September 14, 20212

Dazed and confused for so long it's not true... 

Cocktail of the Week

Nothing says 'brutal!" like last Saturday's game.

And who knows 'brutal'?  Jake LaMotta does.

And who knows how to depict 'brutal'?  Martin Scorsese does.

Although one would probably imagine that even Scorsese would've looked at the game film and said that script is just too too ugly, too painful, even by his standards.

We hear ya, Marty. 

Raging Red Bull
Raging Bull  (1980)
Directed by Martin Scorsese

Dream team Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese put their heads together after the actor read bruiser Jake LaMotta's autobiography and thought it be a perfect fit for his Taxi Driver director.

No fan of boxing, Scorsese initially balked, but several years (and writers) later, the duo got back into the ring for what would become one of the '80s most talked-about films. 

Told in flashback after an opening sequence that had DeNiro gaining a hefty 60 lbs., Raging Bull is an unflinching look at how a man's greatest strength at work can also be his greatest weakness at home. 

Our own heart-pounding, Italian-American thirst quencher will have you going one more round.

1 oz. Campari

1 oz.  sweet vermouth                  
1 oz. gin
1/2 oz. Red Bull

Place all of the ingredients in a mixing glass with ice and stir well.  Strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice and prepare to see stars.

Source:  Gone With The Gin
Cocktails with a Hollywood  Twist
by Tim Federle

2022 Schedule


 3                     @Ohio St.                 L
10                    Marshall                   L
15                    LINIPALOOZA XII
17                    Cal (Berkely)        
24                   @UNC

 1                     OPEN
 8                    @BYU (Las Vegas) 
15                    Stanford            
22                   UNLV            
29                   @Syracuse

5                     Clemson  
12                  @Navy                     
19                  Boston College  
26                  @USC 



Looking at the wager and the balance of the season in front of us, it's probably safe to say it's good to be Albert.

And how many times have I said that in my life?!  

Honestly, not a whole lot. 

But in this context - and I'm sure he takes no joy in being at the (now) likely bottom end of this pool's continuum - it certainly seems apropos.   In fact, Al's guess - and it should be pointed out, also B. Ward's and Garrett Rasmus's - might actually be, dare I say it, optimistic

                                                                             Something else I've rarely uttered.                                 





"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few..."


Brian M., John P., JP, Blayney


"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts..."

Lini, Theo, Sloane, Dave M., Peter


"Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions..."

Bob J.Gutsch
Jerry P., Bill, Bob S.,
Mike C.Pat B.,
Jim B., Tim S.,  Feif,
Mike G., Phillip S., George, Mike B.,  Shea


"Never, never give in..."

Jerrence, Raz, Mark,

Bryan, Matt, Jerry C., Daryl, GrahamJohn,  Jim T., Alex, Randy, Pat C., Gerard W.


"History is written by the victors..."




Albert, Garrett R., Brian W.


"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone..."



"The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute conversation with the average voter..."



"If I were married to you, Mr. Churchill, I'd put poison in your coffee.

If we were married, I'd drink it..."




"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire..."



"If you're going through hell, keep going..."


Schadenfreude of the Week

File this under 'insult after injury' - not only did we lose in the most depressing fashion but almost no one else of any consequence lost (and why should they, they all defeated their supposed patsies).

And sorry, Texas, but almost beating Alabama doesn't count - or help me populate this section. 

Unfortunately, Schadenfreudism has an immutable binary, "you either lost or you didn't" criteria about it.  So - slim pickin's this week.

1) Texas A&M.   Does misery really love company?   

Not as much as one would like to think. 

But given the school's investment in both Jimbo and NIL bribes - plus the fact that ND's primary wavering 5-star 2023 commitment was at the A&M game - it's hard not to take some consolation from the Aggies sh*tting the bed.

SEC SHORTSSometime's you have to laugh at yourself - these guys are good at this - and honestly they let ND off pretty easy. Check it out here. 

Terry's Tools

It shouldn't be a surprise that in a week where the 'fewer words, the better' is the operating principle, of course there'd be more tools to celebrate than I'd know what to do with. 

If idiocy was a renewable energy resource - there's no question its sustainable - at least we'd have that going for us.  But we don't. 

Oh well. Dare to dream. 

1) Notre Dame Message Boards. If one spends even a scintilla of time on social media or websites - on any topic, actually - you knew to avoid going near anything Notre Dame-related this week.   I, however, am not that smart.

Saying that, the magnitude of over-reaction to admittedly the worst loss in about a decade was still striking.  Freeman's a terrible hire / Hiestand's never really been a good coach / Buchner is overrated / Kelly never would've lost that game / Swarbrick should've let Rees go to LSU / "I don't see 6 wins on the schedule... 

Geez.  Some / all of that may end up being true.  But could we please, at least, let this play out a little longer (like an entire season)?

2) MLB.    Could not have said it better.  (Kudos for the pitch clock, however, that is necessary.)

3)  USC.  Now that it seems clear you're going to romp through the weakest of  Power 5 conferences, it also appears you've now figured out how to surgically weaponize NIL - going blatantly after the families. As if the SoCal talent pool, weather, babes and Hollywood cachet wasn't enough.

I am both depressed and envious.

4)  Jay Cutler.  There is something perversely impressive about seeing someone so single-mindedly committed - and successful - to being a douche, 24 / 7. 

Okay, this is also pretty funny. 

But I'm still not selling the team...
5) Robert Sarver.  Bad behavior by sports owners is nothing new - they are our generation's robber barons who seem to do whatever the f*ck they want with impunity.  

Still, even by professional sports league standards, it would seem rare that one gets such a long run of misogyny, racism and general assholery as Mr. Sarver, the owner of the NBA's Phoenix Suns, got away with - 18 years!  

And what's the consequence?  $10M fine (petty cash) and a year away from the team / facilities ("hello, Cabo!").   

Justice is served!

6)  Disney.   More blatant, tone deaf misappropriation - will it never end?

Final Thought

Impossible to understate how important it is to win against Cal this week.

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