Week 6 (2012): History Is Written By The Winners

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It's an area which we call the 'A' Lot... " 

By 2nd Grade at Mother Teresa's School For The Uniquely Gifted, it was obvious that young master Castellini had future O.B.E. potential.

8pm Saturday night, standing in the darkness of 'A' Lot.  Wet.  Not the first time.

Time to reflect.

"If his work is described as 'hallucinatory
realism, what's that make mine..."

The week had been an emotional roller coaster, starting with the annual announcement of the Nobel Prizes.  My ground-breaking treatise, The Power of Positive Hating, passed over once again in obvious deference to a bunch of Emerging Market hacks. (Hello, the Chinese aren't even real Communists anymore - they just pretend to be for the award season.)

More worrisome, the annual rejection letters from Norway are getting increasingly strident. Whereas I used to get consolation through "we beg to differ" language, now I receive expressions like 'cease and desist' and 'restraining order' and 'full force of the law'. Hurtful things. Mean-spirited.

And I am only human.  If you cut me, do I not bleed?  If you give me too much to drink, do I not babble?  If you feed me burritos, do I not break wind?

"1st, we get Olympic wallowing 
added, then Quidditch..."

And yet, I stood there in the rain, Budweiser in hand, thoroughly delighted with the chaotic ending to the game and the week:  Life had achieved it's inevitable Cosmic Balance while demonstrating a sly sense of humor at the same time. After all, the last time Game Day was on campus (for the USC 'Bush Push' debacle), an even more controversial ending was delivered. And I didn't see anyone outside of South Bend spending very long on the notion that ND "really" won that one.

So Stanford, get over it. By Saturday, no one else will care how 'you was robbed' (by your own PAC-12 refs, I might add).  But if it takes you until January, that's cool too. I'm sure you'll figure out a way to make wallowing into a recognized sport and earn valuable Sears Directors Cup points. You're clever that way.

But I digress.

"Hey Mark, isn't that Harry Potter's bus?"

'A' Lot.  In the dark. With beer in hand. A tad disoriented. Where was my beautiful house? Where was my beautiful wife?

'same as it ever was...'

How did I get here?

Let's go to the tape... in reverse.

If This Week's Game Were A Movie Poster, It'd Be... Aliens 3

"The Bitch Is Back"

Last week we asked, not rhetorically, how many data points make a trend?  Six does it for me now.  Every week this year, this team wins and someone makes an excuse about the opponent and says "next week will be tougher."  And every week, the team - and in particularly the defense - takes care of business. What made this week especially awesome was the attitude with which they did so.  Against a team that's basically bullied them the past several years, they said 'not this time'.

And have a nice, long flight home. 

Delicious!


Random Observations Of The Game

Summary Thoughts

• Everett is flawed. And this 'two steps forward, one step backward' progression is getting a little frustrating, especially as the stakes keep getting ratcheted up. And it is time to give Tommy his due: he knows where his receivers are going to be and far better than EG, he knows how to throw passes they can get to. 

• But. Offensive production has to be an equation of QB + Offensive line + Skill guys + Play calling.  And every one of those variables has been shaky this year.  Can't lay it all on Golson.

Jubiliation!

Our defense?  I'm a believer!  They'll certainly have a tough outing sooner or later but they are just so fundamentally sound.  And unlike pt. 2, consistently sound strategically.

Will wonders never cease - ND Stadium can get loud!  Maybe they just needed something to scream about.

"Ole!"

• Post-game, Kelly aggressively defends Mike 'Twitchy' Golic, Jr. and Troy 'El Matador' Niklas. Interesting. Were there really mitigating circumstances involving their respective untimely failings? Perhaps, although it's not like everyone was jumping early, Mike.  And one would've thought that after the 2nd whiff, the coaches might've said 'hey maybe we need to give Troy a little help.'  Nonetheless, Kelly's public defense maybe says more about the coach and perhaps his growing relationship with his team than assigning anyone blame, particularly after a terrific win. (Though I still think Golic is Le Weak Link...) 
• Going forward, I bet you can peg our performance off of one stat only, turn overs.  Which, is basically what Kelly's been saying for eight months...

• Finally, I think it's very cool that we have athletes - good players - are also genuinely articulate.  And the same could be said for Stanford. That alone makes this game a total aberration in college sports.

O.T.

"None shall pass!"

"I hate OT," so sayeth Sully.  You'll get no argument here.

We lose the coin toss but get to choose the end of the field we want to play. The students' end. Well that worked out nicely. 

Troy Niklas beaten like a rented mule for the 4th time by my count. Haven't the coaches been paying attention?

• Sweet catch, Theo!  Now I know why you're in the game so much.
• This is the best game Dan Fox's ever played.

• TJ Jones.  Man, have you improved. And quietly.  As Mayock said, "that was not a good throw..."
• One man's opinion:  if Stanford scored, it was on 2nd down, certainly not 3rd or 4th.

4th Quarter

• Tyler Eifert! So that's what happens when you pass block. And throw it to your best player.

When the going gets tough,
the tough get Heineken. Or Bud.

• Louis Nix.  Coming up BIG.

• Code Blue!  The tent has run out of Guinness!
• Carlo.  Other than being 'connected', why does he play?
• Tuitt looks like the 2nd Coming of Justin Tuck.
• Stepfan Taylor runs so freaking hard.
• Matthias Farley looks like he's 30 years old.  And runs a cartel.
• Tommy Rees. Destiny's Play-toy.

3rd Quarter

• 3 and out for ND; Stanford only rushing 4...
• Mayock dead-on in his analysis:  "That ball just has to come out faster..."
• "Run, Everett, run!  Get out of bounds, Everett, get down!"
• Or not.
• Davonte Neal with a pretty solid PR.  So that's what happens when you block on a return.
• Golic with two False Starts in three plays.  That cannot be not easy to do.

 
Halftime

"It was the best of times..."

With the game in doubt, reinforcements are called in - 'Obi Wan Behrens, you're our only hope... we need you in the tent with us.'

...while 'A' Lot's Madame Defarge does her thing.

2nd Quarter

• Dumb ass - but accurate - roughing the passer penalty by Tuitt.  We seem to be good for one of thise a game...
• Zeke Motta hits like a freakin' truck.  I think I love him. 
• For an O-line that has so many starts together, they don't seem especially synchronized in picking up stunts and blitzes...
• Beyond Brindza, special teams are anything but special.
• Stanford runs a screen pass!  Wait. One. Minute.  Maybe you can pull that rubbish in 'anything goes' California but I'm pret-ty sure it's not even legal in Indiana.

1st Quarter

• 9 out 11 offensive starters for Stanford are seniors.  Enjoy this while it lasts, coach Shaw.
• A false start by our center!  How is that even possible?
• Troy Niklas vs. Chase Thomas.  Rut roh. 
• Theo Riddick certainly seems to be getting a lot of the snaps.  Not that he's bad but... why?!
• We are definitely the beneficiaries of more than our fair share of opponent drops.
• Golson appears a bit... uncertain, confused maybe? I want last week's Everett back!

Pre-game

Tents are up, rain is comin' down, the dogs are grillin' and Peter's revolting-yet-awesome vodka / pickle / pepper concoction is in abundance for Bloody Mary time.  All is right in the world.

It's always sunny in 'A' Lot

Birthday greetings for our young Theo! 5-5! You are Da Man.

Consoling The World's #1 Reds fan. If, by consoling, one means giving Jake C. endless grief about Aroldis Chapman's aborted journey to becoming The Greatest Post-Season Closer Ever.

Talking Ungie into watching the game with us from The Morris Inn tent.  That took... 10 seconds.

"Happy birthday, Ted. It doesn't get any better than this. Seriously.  It doesn't. You're maxxed out." "You're saying I could pass a drug test if I just substitute this stuff for my..."

Nothing screams authentic Irish like Adidas... "I once made a putt THIS long..."

Word of the Week

ESCHEW   transitive verb \e-ˈshü, i-; es-ˈchü, is-; also e-ˈskyü\

v    to avoid habitually, especially on moral or practical grounds : shun

Origin

 Middle English, from Anglo-French eschiver (3d present eschiu) of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German sciuhen to frighten off — more at shy

First Known Use: 14th century

Synonyms:  avoid, dodge, duck, elude, escape, evade, finesse, get around, scape, shake, shirk, shuffle (out of), shun, weasel (out of)

Used in a sentence...  Young Terry eschewed the several generous offers of tickets to the big game, opting for the dry, warm and Guinness-friendly environs of The Morris Inn tent.

Song of the Week
Game Day's Vince Vaughan's first credited film... "drinkin' brew for breakfast"... the defense being all rude, 'n reckless.  There can only be one choice...

How you get a rude and a reckless?

"You think you're pretty hot, in your pork pie hat..."

Don't you be so crude and a feckless

You been drinking brew for breakfast

Rudie can't fail.

I know that my life make you nervous

But I tell you that I can't live in service

Like the doctor who was born for a purpose

Rudie can't fail.

I went to the market to realize my soul

‘cause what I need, I just don’t have.

First they curse then they press me til I hurt.

We say Rudie can’t fail.

Buddy's buddy


Not Mike Golic, Jr.  Clearly. Troy Niklas, I've no doubt you'll win in the future but I think we'd both agree that wasn't your finest hour, was it? And the way the Defense carries this team, it'd be tempting to pick almost anyone on that side, starting with Louis Nix III. (I can't wait until you have your own candy bar, I'll buy 'em by the gross for the tailgater...)  But in the most counter-intuitive way imaginable, I'm looking offense.  Big Time players show up and bail out their teams when they need it most.  So I'm looking at you, Tyler Eifert.

Huge TD catch, incredibly important (and valid) PI call on the game-tieing drive. And evidently, the only TE on the team who knows how to block.  Finally, it's no stretch to believe that TJ and Theo et al don't get nearly as open if the defense isn't constantly rotating to Eifert's location... As Ungie said during the game, "The NFL is going to love him."  Indeed.


Tool Time

"We're not monsters. We're just ahead of the curve."

Charlie Weis.  Going after your school newspaper for pointing out that your team is, in fact, road kill. Which they are. And nothing says "committed to winning now" like scheduling a practice and not inviting the seniors!  Shame on you. Too bad the stomach staple surgery of years past couldn't have removed some of your schematically advantaged ego as well.

David Shaw.   I'll overlook the way you brusquely flew by Kelly on the field after the game - very Harbaughesque by the way. "The student is now The Master."  But I would've thought you would've gotten it together by the time you were in front of the media.  Enough with the phantom whistles -  I hear voices in my head every day and you don't see me complaining.  And by the way, you're no Harbaugh, .  He would've play-actioned at least once in that final sequence (and probably scored. 

Your Pizza Hut is no longer in my Circle of Trust..

Meet The Fickels.  In Ben Stiller's next film, he'll play a Columbus, OH pizza guy who, while taking a delivery order from the Ohio State Defensive Coordinator's wife, offers some off-hand, mild criticism about the tackling effort.  And gets fired for it.

Based on a true story, Ben plans a carefree spin on the story with Owen Wilson tentatively cast as the 'not the sharpest tool in the shed' Pizza Boy and Sandra Bullock / Josh Brolin as the vindictive (and equally dull-witted) pizza loving OSU couple.

Lance Armstrong.  You might cry, "Foul! Double indemnity... you can't be tried for the same crime twice, Ter!"  First of all, you can in Terry World. And secondly, with the recent revelations of just how totally up to his eyeballs Lance was leading... coercing... his ENTIRE TEAM to dope for, like, a DECADE... just to keep himself in the Winner's Circle... man, I just can't let it pass.

Schadenfreude Winner.

Week 6 and the game continues to spread happiness .

1. South Carolina.  Recognizing my deep and abiding respect for Steve Spurrier, this is a tough one to reconcile... sniff.  Okay, I'm good.  Yippee!
2. West Virgina.  Every year there's one "Emperor's New Clothes" team. One who grabs all the early buzz until they actually play someone of substance and get exposed. The problem for WVU, is that I'm not sure Texas Tech was supposed to be that team.  
3. Boston College.  They look like they're really bad. And getting worse.  Isn't that great?!
4. Washington Nationals.  They were a great story. Until they sat Stephen Strasburg down and disrespected the Baseball gods by suggesting, "Hey, we're young. We'll be here every year..."  We'll see.  Actions have consequences even when, maybe especially when, you're playing the team the rest of the baseball world loves to hate.

    2012 Schedule.

September	October	November
1    @Navy (Dublin)            W 8    PURDUE                       W 15  @MSU                          W 22  MICHIGAN                  W 29	6    MIAMI (Soldier Field)*          W 13  STANFORD                           W 20  BYU 27 @Oklahoma	3      PITT 10    @BC 17   WAKE FOREST 24    @USC

*Linipalooza III

Wager 2012.

Kevin, Al, Randy - thanks for playing.  Me and Team 6 are right behind y'all.   Now we begin to play the 'whats left' game and recognize that with six to play, there's likely to be only two games where ND could be an underdog (whether Vegas recognizes them formally as such or not).

Didn't see that coming.

Wins		ND-Scorsese connection	Contestant’s prediction	Pay-out
12		Hugo Sweet, compelling mystery that shows the virtues of faith and resilience. Everyone walks away happy and pleasantly surprised.
11
10			JP, Lini, Dave	$267
9		Goodfellas Awesome film about fulfilling one’s potential and realizing your dreams… even if it is becoming a gangster.  (Q.  Does ending in Witness Protection qualify as a happy ending?)	Bryan, Ted, Ray, Tim S, Bob S	$160
8			Jay, John, Peter, Raz, Kevin M, Tim C, Mark	$115
7			Jerry C, Matt, Jerry W, Jim B, Tom, Mike C, Jim T, Mike G Garrett R	$90
6		The Departed A terrific story about two Boston Irishmen’s different destinies set from childhood. So very close to a happy ending. And yet, so far.	Terry, Jim S, Jerry P, Brian, Blair R	$160
5			Kevin C, Alvin, Randy	$267
4
3		Taxi Driver Mentally unstable Viet Nam vet w. wildly unrealistic delusions of heroism.  He’s a total loser, albeit an incredibly   dangerous one. Sadly everybody knows it (incl. Rick Reilly) but him.
2
1
0

Final Thought

Recruiting.  Creative naming. This week's opponent.  My favorite things, all wrapped up in one. (Immense thanks to Raz for sending this my way.)  Watch to the very end.

Week 5 (2012): Warriors, Come Out To Plaa-aay!

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It's an area which we call the 'A' Lot... " 

There once were two schools from Mitchagin

Who find themselves in a Ditchagin

Irish D took over Lansing

Gave Denard a de-pantsing

Now both school's are ND's Bitchagin

And how was your BYE week?!

With the Miami Hurricanes in town - and all the attendant 'Catholic vs. Convict' memories they conjure up - synapses were firing fast and furious from about Thursday evening on...

But none more than making the trek into, and out of, downtown Chicago for the weekend festivities. Garishly dressed Miami miscreants were everywhere from Friday afternoon onward, making normal journeys incrementally more dramatic, creepy even. One could not help but be reminded of a similar daunting trek across NYC in Walter Hill's dramatic 1979 tour de force, "The Warriors."

Hailed as The Most Important Film of Its Generation by absolutely no one, it achieved near instant cult classic status. The movie recounts the compelling tale of  the Warriors gang - falsely accused of a murder they didn't commit, isolated behind enemy gang lines (most of which look like they could've been recruited by The U) and facing desperate odds to get back on safe, familiar ground.

 They ultimately prevail and the parallels are clear:  naive Chicago suburbanites / out-of-towners descend on the city for harmless amusement... only to find themselves traversing weird neighborhoods with foreboding names like 'Millenium Park', 'The Loop' and 'The Viagra Triangle'...

There's a pivotal moment in the movie, its denouement actually, when the beleaguered Warriors finally confront the villain Luther who has framed them. When asked why, he replies "No reason. I just like doing things like that..."

Huh?  Really?  WTF!  Yet another example of the inexplicable decision making of youth.  And when you saw the way Miami played, you surely had the same reaction about them as the viewer has about Luther - possibly dangerous, incredibly irritating, really stupid.

Song of the Week
This week's musical inspiration has to be credited directly to the group's resident fiction writer, Bryan, who so generously invited me along a couple weeks past to see Richard Thompson play a small, new venue in Chicago's gentrified West Loop area.  At 62 years old, just him and his guitar and an awesome voice, which, given the lifestyle he's surely led, makes me question my own health care choices.

But I digress.  Saturday's night victory requires a joyous song, one that screams of not just redemption but payback.  "I'm back and I'm a force to be reckoned with - whaddya gonna do about it?"  Thompson played this song as part of his encore - it rocked then just as we rocked 'da U' in Soldier Field.  Enjoy.

I feel so good I'm going to break somebody's heart tonight

I feel so good I'm going to take someone apart tonight

They put me in jail for my deviant ways

Two years, seven months and sixteen days

Now I'm back on the street in a purple haze

And I feel so good.

I feel so good!

I feel so good I'm going to break somebody's heart tonight...

Word of the Week

PICARESQUE      adjective \ˌpi-kə-ˈresk, ˌpē-\

1.  pertaining to, characteristic of, or characterized by a form of prose fiction, originally developed in Spain, in which the adventures of an engagingly roguish hero are described in a series of usually humorous or satiric episodes that often depict, in realistic detail, the everyday life of the common people: picaresque novel; picaresque hero.

2.  of, pertaining to, or resembling rogues.

Origin:

1800–10.

Synonyms:   prankish, rascally, devilish, raffish.

Used in a sentence...  The gathering at Villa Lini led to the inevitable re-telling of the attendees' picaresque exploits during college.  

Random Observations Of The Game

Friday night (aka "What happens at Linipalooza, stays at Linipalooza...")

"Evil screen door vanquished. Our job is done here..."

In college, we had a phenomenon called 'Reverse World'... not so much a parallel universe as a lifestyle choice, periodically inhabited by the original anti-hero Coat-Man (who, like Batman, was irreparably damaged psychologically and often with morally suspect intentions).  Yet Coat-Man had a big heart and for the casual onlooker, his appearance at a party was the ultimate thrill ride, inevitably packed with "did I just see that?!" moments.  

"Anybody see Lisa..."

Why do I bring that up? Well, because Linipalooza has become just such a "what will we get this year?" event. We've had murder victims, folks from rehab (and some who should be en route there.) 2012 did not disappoint. Professional decorum (and inadequate legal representation) preclude me from providing details but I am happy to share a few out-of-context quotes:

• "You don't see that every day..." (But, apparently, you could.) 
• "I'm not talking to you until I have 8 or 9 drinks..."
• "The Russian judge gives you a '4'..."
• "We're going to be spending a lot of time together this weekend. You have to go home now."

Honestly, it's beyond me how anyone passes up this event. 

Saturday afternoon (aka "Everybody knows someone...")

• Terry:  "Who invited all these people?"
• Judy:  "Who's paying for all these people?"
• Terry:  "Whomever it is, he's a very special guy."
• Judy:  "Yeah, a real keeper..."

1st Quarter (aka "Whatever we're paying #4 is not enough...")

• Phillip Dorset drops two clear TD passes.
• Tommy almost intercepted twice - business as usual.
• That was fast.  Play #4 and Everett's in.
• Somewhere 'Boston Al' is smiling (I think):  Everett on a read option and a designed QB draw. And looking really quick.
• Robbie Toma might be the best story of the year. For a guy that appeared to be a total Manti throw in, he's the glue of the WR's... 
• Al Golden looks like he could be an insurance salesman. Or an actuary. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2nd Quarter (aka "Are we playing the Oakland Raiders?")

• I almost facilitate a fight by asking a guy if he could sit down for the guys behind us. Evidently, I struck a nerve as his pal flips out and starts screaming at the fellow behind me that he's not gonna put up with such rubbish talk... Alrighty then.
• ND defense looking more fortunate than dominant.  
• Miami loves to talk and gesture for no apparent reason. Maybe the 'U' is actually derived from the word PUNK...
• So far, Miami has 2 personal fouls that extended ND drives, a hold that negated a TD and two hold / clips after short ND kickoffs...
• Golson looking really accurate.  And patient. 
• Things you don't expect:  Turk pooch punts from his own end zone.
• Even with the uncharacteristic FG miss, Golson goes 54 yds in 1 minute flat. Impressive.

   Halftime

"I heard Season 3 of 'Downton Abbey is supposed to be amazing..."

3rd Quarter (aka Imposing Their Will)

• Overreacting Standing Guy makes up with the fellow behind us.  Sweet. Turns out he lived in Dillon. Is anyone in our section surprised?  I think not.
• He then proceeds to stand the rest of the 2nd half, thus reinforcing the Special Ed reputation for the hall...
• Albeit with a more sincere intent to advance the ball, our punt return is still inept.
• Teo leaps like a gazelle!  Is there nothing he cannot do?! (That's a rhetorical question.)
• Another Miami personal foul.  Man, they have that play down pat!
• Stephen Morris has an impressive arm but seems to suffer from Crist disease when it comes to those 8-10 yd. throws.  Especially when he is running for his life.
• And Miami's WR's, with their high white socks, look like they're sporting Mormon underwear.  That certainly makes them a little less intimidating.
• GAIII.  Wow. Not-since-Rocket fast.

4th Quarter (aka The Great Escape)

• Tackling by our defense continues to be virtually flawless. (That's coaching, right?)
• This game has gotten pretty boring.  How awesome is that?!
• Cam The Man.  In any other year, we'd be screaming 'play this guy'!
• The last pass our team attempted was with 12:00 left in the 3rd quarter - and when's the last time you saw anything like that, by anyone?
• It pains me to point this out but... Tommy and the 'O' get a delay of game in mop up time.  How does that happen?  We'll blame the newbies...

Post game

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. 

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. 

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. 

Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou

thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Over to Villa Lini for some post-game revelry where we learn that just two days before, Mrs. L has been bestowed by the school with their coveted Holy Hand Grenade. 

Respect for (and fear of) Judy has just been ratcheted up significantly.  

Summary Thoughts

1. Adjustments.  Back in the day, one of my and Alvin's favorite (and most frustrating topics).  ND didn't start out real well but man, did they finish.  It's about time the coaches -especially Diaco - get recognized for in-game 'course corrections'.
2. Golson. It's about freakin' time! I jest. It's still just game #5 for the kid, people...  But as Sully pointed out, this game he was just so... decisive.  Threw with purpose and when he ran, he tucked and went!  Looked really confident on that 1 minute drive.  Presumably that's more how the spread gets run.
3. GAIII.  We've got a lot of pretty good skill players but only one Home Run threat, him. Gotta figure out conscious ways to get him the ball in space.
4. Pressure.  No sacks and no turnovers yet (especially the 2nd half) showed how beneficial pressure can be even when it doesn't necessarily result in a high profile statistic.  Long may it continue!
5. Time of Possession.  What was the final ratio... 2:1?  3:1?  Whatever, you have to wonder whether we've just seen the ND formula going forward:  be patient, move the chains, less emphasis on big vertical plays -and keep the ball away from the other team, especially those with talented QB's.
6. O-line.  Honestly, I'm still not entirely sold. Miami looked like they flat out quit in the 2nd half.  Talk to me after this week.

If This Week's Game Were A Movie Poster, It'd Be... Seven Psychopaths

"They Won't Take Any Shih Tzu"

If there's one thing you can be guaranteed when playing Miami, it'll be the running of their mouths and a decided lack of on-the-field discipline. (You can take the boy outta South Beach...) Witness all the dumb ass penalties  and their LB, Eddie Johnson (#44 in your program and #1 in his mind), who was jumping up and down after laying a hit on Cam McDaniels, while being down 34-3.  The fact is, Miami's always been a dedicated practioner of intimidation - and sadly of late, ND's been susceptible to it.  But, if Saturday night is any example, not any more.

Given the physical, borderline thuggish, nature of Stanford, this'll be an interesting week to see if this resilience is truly an embedded character trait of the '12 ND program...



Recruiting
The men's basketball equivalent of Skyler Diggins... local guy.  Major, MAJOR talent.  Somebody even Feif might get excited about!  If we're gonna play in the ACC, we better get ACC-caliber players.  Great start.

Buddy's buddy

Let me just start by saying this week, I was getting some serious beyond-the-grave lobbying by the Budster for Ian Poulter... (Buddy always was an incorrigible Anglophile.)  As did Everett Golson. Talk about stepping up.  Cierre Wood, while not as flashy as GAIII, was arguably the critical factor while the game was still in the balance - ND simply does not have a RB that is as instinctive as he is, with his vision and cutting.

That all said, this past weekend demands a special recognition... and after consulting with The Committee (not so much a management team as a dysfunctional cabal of random, stream of conscious babblers), we're bestowing the inaugural O.B.E. on Jerry Castellini.

"Geez, how many relatives did Corrigan bring..."

Not to be confused with the UK's Order of the British Empire that such posers as Bob Geldof and Bono have won, this is the Order of Buddy Emeritus - for recognition of life long service, and dedication to, an unparalleled level of social activity under the flimsy guise of almuni camaraderie.

Congratulations, Jer, and on behalf of everyone who you care about, thank you.  This weekend you truly outdid yourself. And that's saying something.  

Tool Time

"We're not monsters. We're just ahead of the curve."

In watching Stanford lose last week (see below), it got me thinking about the sustainability of their program, post-Harbaugh. I can't think of a guy who has so consistently imprinted his personality on the programs he's lead. They're invariably hyper-competitive to the point of losing sight of the concept of sportsmanship. When you're facing them, you hate 'em.  But when they're on your side, you love them.  A separate genus of homo sapien, they're half man - half tool:  a mool.

"It's pronounced mool, like what a cow says, not mule..."

To be sure, Harbaugh's not so unique in the athletic world. Mools abound everywhere:  in baseball, AJ Pierzinski is at the top of the mool chain and with the recent Ryder Cup debacle, it's worth remembering that Seve was total mool.  And closer to home, coach Holtz had mool-like characteristics... and certainly Urban would qualify.

But I digress.

Jimmy Johnson.  Once a tool, always a tool, apparently.  24 yrs removed from ND's most meaningful win, Jimmy cannot let it go.  Calling Lou 'scrawny' and suggesting that today's replay rule would've reversed Cleveland Gary's TD-negating fumble, he keeps in tact ND Nation's perception of a small minded, mean spirited Arkansas yokel who cannot show grace no matter how much time and distance exists.

"What did you think I meant
when I said 'roll, Tide, roll?"

Brian Dowling.   No, not the one you're thinking of.  No, this would be an otherwise nondescript Alabama fan who was recorded while placing his genitalia on an unconscious LSU fan after last year's BCS championship game.  Set arise - for a minute - any Honey Badger or 'What Would Les Do' jokes...  there is such a thing as winning with class.  Just, apparently, not prevalent south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Sons of Anarchy: Cleveland
Coming to TV, January '13

Samuel Mullet, Sr.  The ironically named head of a renegade Amish sect - "hello, Reality TV!" - was convicted last week of hate crimes in Cleveland, involving the sheep-like shearing of enemy members. (You'e Amish, wouldn't a wedgie have sufficed?!)  Yet another reason to look forward to seeing Judge Lohn and Director of Law Langhenry in a couple weeks...




Schadenfreude Winner.

Week 5 and a veritable cornucopia of schaden for my freude...

1. Stanford.  With the bye week, I couldn't let this slide... The Cardinal choking against Washington after beating SC earlier in the month - how very Pete Carrollian of you.
2. LSU.  Well, Les, I guess your team just haven't the chest to withstand the pressure of high expectations. Maybe you need to revise your recruiting strategy. 
3. Florida State.  Up 16-0 in the 4th quarter and you lose? Well you've always got the coveted ACC title to play for.
4. Texas.  I'm sorry but I have such little regard for Mack Brown as a coach that I can't help but get a little thrill out of it when they lose. Especially as they're in the same "will they return to glory" categorization as the Irish.
5. Los Angeles Angels.  This one's for you, Mr. Pujols.

    2012 Schedule.

September	October	November
1    @Navy (Dublin)            W 8    PURDUE                       W 15  @MSU                          W 22  MICHIGAN                  W 29	6    MIAMI (Soldier Field)*          W 13  STANFORD 20  BYU 27 @Oklahoma	3      PITT 10    @BC 17   WAKE FOREST 24    @USC

*Linipalooza III

Wager 2012.

Albert / Randy / Kevin C, you're on the clock.  (And I'm not far behind.)

How many data points does one need before you can say something is a legitimate trend?  For me, it's one more.  Don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves but if we win on Saturday, August's pathetic dreamers at 9 and 10 wins are looking extremely prescient.

Wins		ND-Scorsese connection	Contestant’s prediction	Pay-out
12		Hugo Sweet, compelling mystery that shows the virtues of faith and resilience. Everyone walks away happy and pleasantly surprised.
11
10			JP, Lini, Dave	$267
9		Goodfellas Awesome film about fulfilling one’s potential and realizing your dreams… even if it is becoming a gangster.  (Q.  Does ending in Witness Protection qualify as a happy ending?)	Bryan, Ted, Ray, Tim S, Bob S	$160
8			Jay, John, Peter, Raz, Kevin M, Tim C, Mark	$115
7			Jerry C, Matt, Jerry W, Jim B, Tom, Mike C, Jim T, Mike G Garrett R	$90
6		The Departed A terrific story about two Boston Irishmen’s different destinies set from childhood. So very close to a happy ending. And yet, so far.	Terry, Jim S, Jerry P, Brian, Blair R	$160
5			Kevin C, Alvin, Randy	$267
4
3		Taxi Driver Mentally unstable Viet Nam vet w. wildly unrealistic delusions of heroism.  He’s a total loser, albeit an incredibly   dangerous one. Sadly everybody knows it (incl. Rick Reilly) but him.
2
1
0

Final Thought #1

Ryder Cup: Greatest Competition On The Planet.

Even when we choke.

Final Thought #2
I am often asked, "Isn't your chosen profession one (small) step above that of a snake oil salesman?  Isn't it a soul-sucking vocation that seeks to create unnecessary demand, preying on the psychologically vulnerable -  where no decent, moral, practical need actually exists..."

May I phone a friend before answering?

Seriously, after asking, politely,"what's your point", I point out that every society has courageous leaders.  Often deeply misunderstood zealots who facilitate the commercialization of invaluable goods and services that are, candidly, ahead of their time.

Like The Trunk Monkey.

A final, special thanks to Mark and Jay for significant contributions of content, including many of the quotes.