Bowl game: Crossroads

"Christmas comes early for Terry…"   Now he can get his Scotchlandia library card.

A Short Story

In September, I bought tickets to see Los Lobos then promptly forgot about the purchase.

The day before the show, venue kindly reminded me.  

Thank you, City Winery.

By then, I had other plans with my boss involving the sharing of Christmas Cheer. 

And by 'cheer' I mean Macallan 15.

"I can do both," I thought, optimistically. But after Macallan #3, I was re-considering that plan.  Going home and crashing looked awfully attractive.

"Weanie Boy!  Weeeaaannie Boyyy!"

However, an inner voice intervened, suggesting I (and I'm paraphrasing here) "grab Life by the throat for once, you gutless wonder..."

So I went.  

Proving I can be easily swayed by any peer pressure, even internal.  And glad I did.  The band looks like guys I played 16" Chicago League softball against, back in the day.  Or managing the food truck outside of our building. But boy, could they play.  

The End.

Moral of the Story:  Go to the show.  Watch the bowl game.  Even when you don't want to and / or you're sure you know the outcome.  You just might be pleasantly surprised.


Which leads to Song of the Week #1.   Last weekend, after my bride and I had finished watching Ken Burns' 14 hr. documentary on The Roosevelts, tired of any further debate over the role of racism in British novelist Evelyn Waugh's satires and (as one of culture and taste does) pondered what else was on PBS*… we stumbled upon Billy Joel being awarded The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize.

*Editor's Note: South Park was a re-run that night, the one where Kyle is mistakenly identified as the new messiah for The Church of Scientology and their management sends Tom Cruise to persuade him but Tom, and later John Travolta, lock themselves in Kyle's closet and refuse to come out.  

Brilliant.

Back on point, it got me to thinking about Mr. Joel's catalogue… I don't think there's any song that, word for word, so accurately depicts the ND football fan's mindset over the last 20 years than the song below.  

We are truly… deeply… eternally... what ND's situations hand us, either sadness or euphoria.  Zero middle ground.

"How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies.

Perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies*.

As we stand upon the ledges of lives

With our respected similarities.

It's either sadness or euphoria…" 

*except for J. Lohn, he totally fulfills my fantasies.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That all said, as of this moment I'm leaning severely to the 'sadness' side of the ledger.

What does it say about the Uncertain Times We Live In when Al Brunett, Mr. Sell Short / Multiple Pool Winner, already goes on the record for 12-0 next year while Young Terry, so unabashedly optimistic that he's often - and I daresay, unfairly - accused of being perpetually self-medicated... goes in the opposite direction?  

Like two ships, passing in the night… The Good Ship Alvinetto setting sail for the Land of Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams as The SS Crash heads toward the Heart of Darkness. 

Role reversal.  

Ironic, isn't it? 

This is only to say I'm running out of positive ND Football Kool-Aid.
  
I think we'd all agree that a surprisingly wonderful (and entertaining) bowl game doesn't erase The November From Hell -- sure to be followed by our annual, inevitable Close-But-No-Cigar Recruiting Haul (doesn't any other school come even close to ND in finishing 2nd for so many 5-stars?) capped off by the equally predictable Off-Season Punch In The Metaphorical Genitals when some out-of-the-blue scandal hits the program.  

Too gloomy for you?  Too much unsubstantiated supposition for you?  Handle this coleslaw:

Jimmy vs. Urban...

• The Anti-Christ of Columbus now has his Satanic Wing Man in Ann Arbor.  Try recruiting against those dark forces.
• USC loading up with, like, all 5-stars (or so it seems).
• Our best Offensive and Defensive linemen contemplating the NFL. 
• ND coaching salaries, especially at the assistant level, increasingly lagging.
• Kelly and Swarbrick allegedly unable to be in the same room together. (There's a recipe for managerial success.)
• Football facilities at the Gug deemed, already, to be a pale comparison to SEC schools.

So honestly, what is the ND's realistic ceiling for success anymore?


Which leads to Song of the Week #2.  Los Lobos didn't play this tune the night I saw them, unfortunately… but I think it might be my favorite… both sad and ominous, perfect for any blog related to Notre Dame football as it heads into another off season, full of unrealized potential and nervousness within the player / coaching ranks - with just a dollop of "what's gonna go really wrong this offseason" and "Is Mike Brey my offseason savior?":

"Knock down the door to Reva's house, something's going on.

Dogs were barking late last night. Something's going wrong. 

Don't know where to run to.  Don't know where to hide.

Can't hold my head up any more. Don't listen when I cry…"

Word of the Week

Manqué   adjective \mäⁿ-ˈkā\

• short of or frustrated in the fulfillment of one's aspirations or talents

Origin:  French (duh), from the past particle of manquer to lack, fail

First known use:  1773.

Used in a sentence:  With each year of unattained success, Young Terry lamented that ND remains a football elite manqué.

Music Bowl Observations

Back to something more… constructive.  And in no particular order:

• I hope Kelly was paying attention to the Les Miles' playbook - and the perils of trying to always be so freaking clever.
• Where was that OL all year?
• That said, who thought - at any time this year - Ronnie Stanley looked like a 1st round pick?

• I didn't understand the QB rotation - at all - and don't think it'll be sustainable next year.  Apparently some of it was explained by Golson being hurt… so score one for it being successful for one game.
• Early prediction:  Malik or Everett, one of them won't be on campus in Sept.
• I have no idea if he's our best QB but I think we can win w. Zaire

• Stupid Q. #1:  What about moving Prosise to RB?  He looks awfully good running with the ball in his hands.
• Stupid Q. #2:  Could CJ be our Tim Brown - a guy none of us knew anything about at the time but whom the coaches (basically Holtz) saw as a preternatural talent?
• Really, really happy for Brindza.
• For all of those who love to scream about how seemingly unprepared the team has been for Big Games (see USC), please acknowledge a pretty terrific game plan this time around.
• LSU's Fournette is a beast. And I've finally come to the conclusion - duh - that all 5 Star Recruits aren't always 5 Star Players… but when they are (e.g., USC's Adoree Jackson / JuJu Smith / Su'a Cravens), yowzer.
• I know our DL was decimated but they still looked slow to me.

Buddy's Buddy

This says it all -  a great 9+ minutes to re-live.  

But if you want to cut to the chase re Buddy's selection,  go to the approx. 8 minute mark.  

Love how the team embraces the coaches'  choice.

"I Got Your Hemingway Right Here, Bub"

Speaking of awesome short stories (as what you initially read surely was), there's an oft-shared mythology that the greatest - and saddest - short story ever written was penned by the pride of Ketchum, ID:  

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Good one, Ern.  But I can, sniff, top that, sniff:  

ND football tix available, free. 

Fun With Numbers

Did you know…

1.2B photos - mostly selfies celebrating The God-Given Right To Abject Self-Absorption - are posted every day.

7% of the US - that's ~1 out of 14 - have no teeth.  None. Zero.  Zippidity-doo-dah. And while there's no truth to the suggestion that they all live in West Virgina, there is a pronounced 'enrolled-at-an-SEC-school-but-never graduated' profile skew.

15 seconds of euphoria - the time between my seeing Corey Robinson's TD in the closing seconds of the FSU game and an out-of-position ref thinking, "this outcome simply won't do at all - I've got a family to feed" and tossing a flag that snatched Defeat from The Richly Deserved Jaws of Victory.

63%  of the people aboard the Hindenburg actually survived. (Does that therefore really qualify as a 'disaster'?)  The percentage would've been even higher except one unlucky fellow survived the explosion - but was killed in the crash. Bummer.

All of this is to pose the question, what does one take away from the interpretation of numbers anyway?  You might argue that there's little difference between an 8-5 or 7-6 record for our Irish.  With respect, I would beg to disagree.  As shaky as my confidence is of the program ever getting anywhere close to elite again, if we'd lost last week's game, it could've gotten really ugly, really fast.  

Quote of the Week

"I just met a wonderful new man.  

He's fictional but you can't have everything."

Cecilia, The Purple Rose of Cairo

So there you have it.  My attachment to Notre Dame football greatness is basically, now, no better than the many rich, meaningful - okay, imaginary - friendships I had while growing up as a doted upon only child. 

Except for Enrico, the next door neighbor's kindly (and likely illegal) gardener - that first year we moved to New Jersey when I was 6 years old.  

I'm almost positive he was real.





An English Major Walks Into A Bar...

It's called 'Body Balance'.  For every good, you get to ingest some bad.

Not solely because Black Russians were a frequent drink of choice over the family Christmas Shangri-La experience... the following libation has much in common, thematically, with a retrospective summary of being a Notre Dame Fanboy for the past 20+ years...

Love In The Time of Kahlua

(Love In The Time of Cholera)

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Never settle… even for a doctor… with a hot accent.  Otherwise, you could go a half century till you find another national championship the real thing.  In Marquez's version of romance, the zipper-straining desire of a trio of lovebirds is practically an illness, eating his characters from the inside out.  

Following ND football, I know the feeling.

Here two teenagers fall in lust but the girl chooses an MD to settle down with, leaving the boy to choose anything with a pulse to settle the score.  True adoration knows no calendar and '51 years, 9 months and 4 days' later (but who's counting?) the two are reunited again after Husband #1 dies.  

• 1 oz. light rum
• ½ oz. coffee liqueur (e.g., Kahlua)
• 2 oz. light cream
• ground cinnamon or nutmeg, to taste

Combine the rum and coffee liqueur over ice in a rocks glass.  Pour the cream on top and sprinkle a little spice.  Now drink to the heady brew of passion - and pray there's not a 51 yr., 9 month and 4 day gap between the next meaningful ND football success.

Absinthe Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

"Mom, wait your turn…"

A really big shout out to brother Kevin, Giver of The Absinthe - the anise flavored liquor whose historically addictive, intoxicating power was once whispered by prophets and scientists, mystics and kings -  and provided one interesting holiday evening adventure.

Looking Ahead - The 2015 Schedule

It's never too early to look ahead and start organizing your thoughts about next year.  Let's all applaud Mr. Brunett and his courageous, true-to-character proclamation:

"Go ahead and hold me to 12. I love what I saw on D and we all know D wins it.  

Of course if yenz hold me to it even if the whole team transfers to AL,

 It merely shows your true sense of sportsmanship.  

Happy New Year folks!  I got a good feeling about this one coming up."

September
 5      Texas

I don't recall Terry complaining about being lassoed as a  young lad.

12     @ Virginia
19     Georgia Tech
26     Massachusetts

October
 3     @ Clemson
10     Navy
17     USC
31    @ Temple
      

Corrigan Brother Reunion! 

Party at Dr. Tim-Tim's House!

November
 7     @ Pittsburgh
14     Wake Forest
21    @ Boston College, FENWAY PARK!   
        Party at Gutsch - Randy - Albert - JP's house!
28   @ Stanford

But before you write off Al as just another New England loon… pregnant pause… consider this:

2015 Overall Power 5 Conference Returning Starters

RK	TEAM	CONF	TOTAL	OFF	QB	RB/FB	REC/TE	OL	DEF	DL	LB	DB's	K	P
1	Notre Dame	INDEP	19	9	1	1	3	4	10	4	3	3	0	0
2	UCLA	PAC-12	18	10	0	1	4	5	8	2	3	3	1	1
2	California	PAC-12	18	9	1	1	4	3	9	3	3	3	0	1
2	Tennessee	SEC	18	10	1	1	4	4	8	3	2	3	1	0
2	Vanderbilt	SEC	18	9	1	1	3	4	9	2	3	4	1	1
6	North Carolina	ACC	17	10	1	1	3	5	7	2	2	3	1	0
6	Baylor	BIG 12	17	8	0	1	3	4	9	4	1	4	1	0
6	Ole Miss	SEC	17	9	0	1	3	5	8	4	1	3	1	1
9	Virginia Tech	ACC	16	8	1	1	4	2	8	4	2	2	1	1
9	Wake Forest	ACC	16	9	1	1	3	4	7	3	3	1	1	1
9	Michigan	BIG 10	16	9	0	1	3	5	7	2	2	3	0	0
9	Purdue	BIG 10	16	9	1	0	3	5	7	2	3	2	1	1
9	Texas Tech	BIG 12	16	8	1	1	3	3	8	3	1	4	0	1
9	Colorado	PAC-12	16	7	1	1	2	3	9	3	3	3	0	0
9	USC	PAC-12	16	10	1	1	3	5	6	2	1	3	0	1
9	Arizona St	PAC-12	16	7	0	1	3	3	9	2	4	3	1	1
9	LSU	SEC	16	8	1	1	3	3	8	3	2	3	1	1
18	Pittsburgh	ACC	15	9	1	1	3	4	6	2	1	3	1	1
18	Florida St	ACC	15	5	1	1	2	1	10	3	3	4	1	1
18	TCU	BIG 12	15	9	1	1	3	4	6	3	0	3	1	1
18	Washington St	PAC-12	15	7	0	1	1	5	8	2	3	3	1	1
18	Arkansas	SEC	15	8	1	1	2	4	7	3	1	3	0	0
23	NC State	ACC	14	9	1	1	4	3	5	1	1	3	0	0
23	Illinois	BIG 10	14	7	1	1	3	2	7	2	2	3	1	0
23	Penn St	BIG 10	14	8	1	0	3	4	6	2	2	2	0	1
23	Ohio St	BIG 10	14	7	1	1	1	4	7	2	2	3	1	1
23	Michigan St	BIG 10	14	6	1	0	2	3	8	3	2	3	1	0
23	Iowa St	BIG 12	14	6	1	0	2	3	8	3	1	4	1	1
23	West Virginia	BIG 12	14	6	0	1	2	3	8	2	2	4	1	1
23	Oklahoma St	BIG 12	14	8	1	0	4	3	6	1	2	3	1	0
23	Stanford	PAC-12	14	10	1	1	3	5	4	0	2	2	0	0
23	Kentucky	SEC	14	7	1	1	1	4	7	2	2	3	1	1
33	Georgia Tech	ACC	13	5	1	0	0	4	8	3	2	3	1	1
33	Minnesota	BIG 10	13	6	1	0	2	3	7	2	2	3	1	1
33	Iowa	BIG 10	13	6	1	0	2	3	7	2	2	3	1	1
33	Oklahoma	BIG 12	13	7	1	1	3	2	6	1	3	2	0	0
33	Oregon	PAC-12	13	8	1	1	4	2	5	3	1	1	1	1
33	Utah	PAC-12	13	7	1	1	1	4	6	2	2	2	1	1
33	Texas A&M	SEC	13	7	1	0	3	3	6	3	1	2	0	1
33	South Carolina	SEC	13	5	0	0	2	3	8	3	2	3	1	0
33	Florida	SEC	13	7	1	1	3	2	6	2	1	3	1	0
33	Missouri	SEC	13	7	1	1	1	4	6	1	2	3	1	0
43	Virginia	ACC	12	6	1	0	1	4	6	3	1	2	1	0
43	Duke	ACC	12	6	0	1	2	3	6	1	1	4	1	1
43	Indiana	BIG 10	12	6	1	0	2	3	6	2	2	2	1	1
43	Northwestern	BIG 10	12	5	0	1	2	2	7	3	1	3	1	1
43	Nebraska	BIG 10	12	6	1	0	3	2	6	3	1	2	1	1
43	Wisconsin	BIG 10	12	5	1	0	2	2	7	1	2	4	1	1
43	Texas	BIG 12	12	7	1	0	1	5	5	3	0	2	1	0
43	Arizona	PAC-12	12	7	1	1	3	2	5	1	3	1	1	1
43	Auburn	SEC	12	4	0	0	1	3	8	3	2	3	1	1
43	Alabama	SEC	12	4	0	1	1	2	8	3	2	3	1	1
53	Syracuse	ACC	11	8	1	0	3	4	3	1	1	1	1	1
53	Louisville	ACC	11	5	1	1	1	2	6	1	3	2	1	0
53	Clemson	ACC	11	7	1	1	3	2	4	1	1	2	1	1
53	Maryland	BIG 10	11	7	0	1	3	3	4	0	1	3	1	1
53	Kansas St	BIG 12	11	5	0	0	1	4	6	2	1	3	1	1
53	Oregon St	PAC-12	11	9	0	1	3	5	2	1	0	1	1	0
53	Washington	PAC-12	11	6	1	1	3	1	5	0	2	3	1	1
53	Georgia	SEC	11	6	0	1	2	3	5	0	2	3	1	1
61	Miami, Fl	ACC	10	5	1	0	2	2	5	2	1	2	1	1
61	Boston College	ACC	10	3	0	1	2	0	7	3	2	2	1	1
61	Rutgers	BIG 10	10	4	0	1	1	2	6	2	2	2	1	1
64	Kansas	BIG 12	8	4	1	0	1	2	4	1	2	1	1	0
65	Mississippi St	SEC	7	4	1	0	1	2	3	1	1	1	1	1

Schadenfreude Time

They say patience is virtue and good things come to those who wait.  Or some rubbish like that… but that would certainly help explain my New Year's Day Ecstasy:

1. FSU.  Well done, Jimbo.  You held them under 60.
2. Baylor.  Truthfully, I was a little conflicted about their losing - such is my deep and abiding ill will toward Mark Dantonio. (I really do need to learn to let go.)  But in the end, watching the Texas-arena football-"1st one to 60 wins" style of football is just so much more offensive to me.  
3. Alabama.  Truthfully, I was a little conflicted about their losing - such is my deep and abiding loathing of Urban Meyer.  Until I heard Phyllis from Mulga, AL:

AHS: The SEC

Both riveting and terrifying, I believe this also justifies my overwhelming trepidation at stepping anywhere inside the geography below Ohio, above Florida and east of the Mississippi.  

If there's a God, Ryan Murphy's next American Horror Story concept will come from Alabama. 

And it'll star Phyllis from Mulga.



Terry's Trolls


1.  Jorge Baez, U. of Miami asst.  coach and simple-minded twit.  You're going to recruit against ND based on the difference in weather?!  Is that all you got?

Moron. 

2.  Jameis.   The nation's #1 rated athletic sociopath had this to say after getting bludgeoned by Oregon: 

"If everyone wants to be real with themselves, this game could've went either way…"


Well, Jameis, two things: 1) I think I've proven that I don't wish to 'be real' with myself.  I far prefer the near limitless possibilities afforded me through a robust imaginary life and 2) you hung with them for precisely one half. Then you imploded.  After that, you laid down.  (And bravo to Mr. Herbstreit for calling you all out on national TV.)  Then ¾ of your team ran away - not even shaking hands w. the Ducks afterwards. 

They could've easily hung 70 on you - if they hadn't started recruiting kids out of the stands to play a few snaps in the 4th quarter.  That's the "real" the nation witnessed. 

At any rate, moments of precise reckoning are rare in Life.  Jameis, you just got your first. (Pretty sure it's not gonna be your last.)

3.  Nick Saban.  I want to like you a little… at least respect you… but then you keep doing stuff like this.   Apparently, Mr. Everyone Deserves a 2nd Chance meant that, actually, only the really good athletes deserve 2nd chances.  In this case, a guy who was dismissed at Georgia after being arrested for aggravated assault when it was found "there to be evidence that a female victim had been possibly strangled by the offender…"

Possibly?!  Is there really a grey area there?  Jonathan Taylor, DT.  Remember that name.


And Finally, Land Ho!




On that cheery note, this video will surely send you away smiling.

I'm not convinced Lou still knows who he is. 



Final Thought - II

On a cheery note that'll send me away smiling.

Merry Christmas to me!