Post-Pinstripe Bowl: The More Things Change...

Let's start this final recap with a holiday drink.

Cocktail of The Week

Black Russian (To Get This Season Over With)

• 2 oz.  vodka
• 1 oz. Kahlua (or Tia Maria)

Mix the vodka and liqueur in a shaker.  Pour into an old-fashioned glass with ice cubes.   Take a long, deep tug for your first sip and recall that this used to be one of your older brothers favorite holiday drinks.  You're immediately transported back to family Christmases long ago.  

I'm surprised he didn't try and tag you too...

Then you remember how that same brother got up early one Christmas when you were a wee lad and cherry picked everyone's best presents for himself.  (With four boys, Santa couldn't be bothered with wrapping all the gifts.  Instead we were all assigned a chair with our presents collected upon it.)

My other brothers and I were none the wiser until mom 'n dad came down and began opining that they thought Santa meant for a very different distribution of the gifts - and Yuletide Order In The Universe was re-established.

It was the first time I'd ever heard my parents use the expression 'criminal genius'.  As well as the first time Mother Teresa's School For The Problematically Gifted came up in conversation.

It would not be the last.

In point of fact, that failed attempt at The Perfect Crime ultimately led said brother down a lifelong path of cynicism and mistrust in many of our most important cultural institutions (you don't even want to know the Easter Incident)... but it also created in him a Reformers-like zeal for Truth Seeking and Fact-based Argumentation that he carries with him to this day.

Yes, a 'C' player!

Which brings us to The New Era Pinstripe Bowl and the harsh realities that the game forces one to confront after 13 games: 

1.   Our QB was never any better than a try-real-hard 'C' player. That in itself is not a hanging offense. Except, to quote Auburn's DC (who is presently prepping for a NC game), "In today's game you can lift all the weights you want, if you ain't got a QB, you ain't got a football team."  

You don't say.

2.   There was, at best, minimal player development.  You want to bitch about offensive play calling or defensive scheme?  Valid criticism. But the greater coaching crime was this:  outside of the OL, who improved? And whomever was responsible for special teams was flat out stealing a paycheck all year long.

3.  There was also no discernible player-led leadership.  Call it the real Te'o Void. (And being liked... or being a 'true Notre Dame Man'... isn't the same as being a leader.)

4.  Recruiting matters.  That's the good news.  Provided this current class hangs together (and there's no reason to say it won't), it would seem we're really close to near SEC-like depth.

Song of The Week.

From what I maintain is the best rock concert film ever - "Stop Making Sense" - a song whose signature lyric provides the perfect analysis of Saturday's game (and the '13 Season):

Same as it ever was.

Same. As. It. Ever. Was.

Word of The Week

VERBIGERATOR (n.)

:  One who senselessly repeats cliches and bromides, often due to mental infirmity.  (Kind of like a blogger, except that in that case, it's always a sign of mental impairment.)

Used in a sentence:  It's true that young Terry is something of an incorrigible verbigerator, but in his defense, it could be just a sign of impending schizophrenia.

Game Time Observations
Final, random thoughts...

• The NFL would kill for this weather come Super Bowl game day. (So would Green Bay.)
• A screen pass!  Where have you been all season?
• A Max Redfield start!  (And the same could be said.)
• Coordinator?  We don't need no stinkin' coordinator!
• well maybe on defense
• I feel sorry for the TV announcers who have to call this game.
• I should've created a prop bet around the number of ND illegal substitutions, delay of games and burned TO's
• Has empty backfield EVER worked for ND?
• Rutgers QB is not good.  And yet...
• What is the deal with this turf?!
• did we, per chance, bring other spikes?
• Our ILB's... so slow.
• The 2nd Half kickoff coverage was just about the most pathetic effort at tackling all year long. (And that's saying something.)
• does anyone coach this group?
• K. Russell - the only DB who improved this year.
• S. Tuitt - total enigma.
• Kelly still hasn't cracked the code on bowl game motivation w a month off.  Of course, playing in the New Era Pinstripe Bowl may have something to do with that...*

*editorial note:  apparently ~16 guys had a serious flu bug so maybe coach gets cut a little break

Buddy's buddy

It's been a long season and I'm tired.  And frankly, the game was just not that interesting, perhaps because I'm not such a conscientious student of the game... but in my zeal to bring closure to a semi-reasonable season - and let some else do my thinking for me - who can argue with the bowl's choice of Zach Martin as the game's MVP?

First off, it's kinda cool that an offensive lineman gets recognized, especially one that started a record number of games. (I loved Kelly's likening him to Larry Bird, one who makes everyone better around him.)  

Plus, between the drops by the WR's, Tommy's inaccuracy and the defense's lackluster effort, who else would one nominate?  Brindza? 

The Wager

Cutting to the chase... the winner(s) are:  Ryan Corrigan and Brian Ward!  Here's how the final tie-breaker predictions shook out:

Checks will go out early next week (provided I have your latest addresses)...

Gerard / Bob S / Dennis / Randy, I don't have you recorded as having paid.  If I'm wrong let me know.  Otherwise, just send your $25 to Stable Boy, c/o Scotchlandia USA.  

Or get me when we see each other next.

Wins	Philospher	School of Thought / Representative Quote	Modern Translation	Contestant  prediction
12	EPICURIS	The Self-Indulgent & Excessive “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day.  You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity..”	Man up! We’re still BCS bound even w/o Everett and Eddie! Go Irish!  (And stop bogarting the wine skin, bro…)
11				Kevin C, Ray, Dave M
10	KIERKEGAARD	The Logical “Face the facts of being what you are, for that changes what you are…”	Epicuris is an incorrigible drunk but he’s right about this still being a very good team.  That said, losing Golson has to cost us a game or two.	Terry, Peter, Ted, Mike G, Jay, JP, Daryl, Jerry W, Dennis
9				Raz, Jim S, Jim T, Bob S, Tim C, Jerry C, Mike C, Tom, Randy, Tim S,  Blair,  Kevin M, Shea, Mark
8	WITTGENSTEIN	The Realist “I sit astride Life like a bad rider on a horse.  I only owe it to the horse’s good nature that I am not thrown off at this very moment…”	I don’t have a clue what’s gonna happen but the odds alone suggest we’ll win 7-8 and go bowling in Shreveport.	Garrett, Bryan, John, Brian, Lini, Jerry P, Ryan C, Matt
7				Alvin
6	SCHOPENHAUER	The Skeptic “The wise have always said the same things, and fools, who are the majority, have always done just the opposite…”	Epicurus is delusional. Everett is a significant loss. The entire ‘O’ was built around him. Bet high at your peril.
5
4	DIOGENES	The Cynic “What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others…”	The high point of the year is gonna be the ‘A’ Lot experience.  Again. Not that that's a bad thing.
3
2	NIETZSCHE	The Nihilist “A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything…”	Honestly, why bother with any of this?  Life beyond ‘A’ Lot is a wretched, futile existence - devoid of meaning. May I have another Bloody?
1

Schadenfreude Winners 
I could wait until all the Big Game gets played but patience is not a strong suit of mine...

1.  Bama.  Tide!  Rolled!  Almost as bad as Vegas got rolled when a 15 pt. underdog beats the defending national champ.  Surprising.  But awesome - when was the last time Big Nick had a 2-game losing streak?  Poor preparation or karmic payback after one their fandom named their baby, Krimson Tyde?  (She better grow up smokin' hot.  Or plan on never leaving the state.)


2.  Ohio State.  The Orange Bowl shouldn't have been as close as it was but a loss is a loss and it brought me great joy.  Urban also now has a 2 game losing streak, at least until their September feast of MAC schools next season.

Miller?

And indeed I felt no small level of personal shame at the glee I took over Braxton Miller getting repeatedly (and progressively) the snot kicked out of him by Clemson's defense.  But then I had another scotch and took comfort in the knowledge that God loves all his flawed creations.  But most especially the ones that root against the Ohio State.

And by the way, I'm revising my personal Nine Circles To Hell to include Matt Millen. Unlistenable. Detroit Lion fans, I now better understand the multiple tortures you endured. One final thought: I'm really happy we'll never have to face Sammy Watkins...

3. Stanford.  One would've guessed The Cardinal might've re-thought their 4th and short strategy after last year. One would be wrong - that would've required a level of introspection and humility which David Shaw doesn't appear to possess.  And interesting (he says bitterly) that there was no hue 'n cry over this year's runner's momentum being stopped...

4.  Michigan. What a difference a couple months make.  Wolverine Nation (well some, anyway) are actually pining for RichRod.  And while I could personally care less, ND now re-possesses the best winning percentage in college football.

5.  Baylor.  Maybe it's because of their sickening need to run up scores on a season-full of patsies (seven games with 59+ points) but losing to 17 pt. underdog UCF was just... awesome.  Oh, and to a QB who was UCF's Plan B when they couldn't successfully recruit Tommy Rees.  Ouch.

6.  FSU.  Or Auburn.   I'll find joy in whichever one of you loses.  That's my special gift.

The Grinch's Gang
You'd think this time of the year, it'd be harder to find people exhibiting bad behavior.  Sadly no.

"I poke you I poke you I poke you!"

1.  Penn State.  You might think that Bill O'Brien bailing after only two years is the bad guy here - but I say "no, boozy boys... saggy farty boys!"  It is, in fact, the pathological Paterno Nation who are the tools here... so delusional they couldn't see the amazing salvage job this guy was doing.  So he said 'screw it, I don't need your unique brand of western PA psychosis' - took the big money and now gets to coach JJ Watt & Co. for the next several years.  Good luck with the Al Golden Era (talk about landing on your feet).

2. The Ohio State.  One day into 2014, one player suspension.  That's efficient.

3.  Cleveland Browns.  Firing your coach after one season.  Really? Surely you have a home run hire all set up... no?

Any idea what that kid just said?

4.  High School All-Star games.  I hate 'em.  Monuments to 18 yr. old self-absorption. As if they need any greater sense of entitlement. And yet I still watch 'em - so who's the pathetic one? This year's highlights:

• The one kid who said, "I'm taking my talents* to the University of LSU..."
• Another, Speedy Noil, who was so incoherent in his announcement that it led a coach to say (off-air), "the closest he's ever getting to a degree is adjusting his thermostat..."

*and thank you, Lebron, for giving the world this incredibly annoying phrase for all the 18 yr. old narcissists to mimic.

Recruiting Time!
 
We're in what's affectionately called the 'dead period' (where schools cannot have face-to-face contact with the recruits - but that doesn't mean there's movement afoot!

The buzz suggests that ND is going to be extremely discriminating with likely no more than 1-2 spots left for a truly elite player.  And I mean elite.  Like no kiddin' around Tom Feifar / Bryan Gruley-level special... 

1. Nile Sykes, ILB.  A position of need, committed to ND on the banquet weekend and is very good friends with...
2. Nyles Morgan, ILB.   Announced today - he's ND bound! Woo hoo!  Athleticism returns to the ILB position! (Presumptively suggesting it was ever there in the first place.)  Beyond the sheer upgrade he figures to represent, you can also expect a near endless stream of Nile Rodgers Parliament Funkadelic and Chic references. The gift that keeps on giving.
3. Tyler Luatua, TE.  Committed to ND!  But still taking calls from 'Bama and USC.  Hmmm.
4. Michiah Quick, WR.  One of those 'elite' that ND will take regardless of when he decides but after Oklahoma's impressive aerial performance this week, tough to see him saying no to that.  Unless Stoops leaves for the Brownies...
5. Braden Smith, OL.  Another elite OL guy that would be icing on the cake of an already impressive O-line haul.  Supposed to be considering an official visit to ND in January (perfect - South Bend is so beautiful that time of year). Given that TCU (huh?!) seems to be the primary competition, his linear thinking deficiencies may actually work in our favor.
6. Charles Nelson.  The smallish slot WR from Fla... word was that he wasn't digging the cold weather he experienced over the banquet weekend (wait til he sees February in northern Indiana!) but still has ND on his final short list.
7. JuJu Smith, S.  The good news:  we're supposed to be in his top 2-3 and is best buds w Luatua.  The bad news:  Sarkisian hired his uncle and he's a SoCal kid and all insider buzz suggests he's a virtual SC lock.  Son of beeetch.  Sheeet.
8. Alan Lazard, WR.  Said he's solid with Iowa State.  Good for him - how refreshing that an 18 yr. old sticks to his commitment. (And spare me the '40 yr. decision' rhetoric.)
9. Matt Elam, DL.  A mutual decision to go their separate ways and given ND's enormous need at this position, that probably tells you all you need to know about the coach's concerns about this kid's fit with team culture.
   
10. Peyton Hendricks, S.  Verballed to Texas Tech after (allegedly) being told his window for committing had elapsed.  Could he still flip?  Maybe.  But probably not.

Golson's back - yay!  Tuitt's likely not - c'est la vie.

Presuming that this not going to be a "Kelly flirts with the NFL" year, recruiting ought to end up a) very strong and b) free of 'who'll renege' drama.  Huzzah.

Quote of The Week

"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Easy for him to say (both Eton and Oxford were juggernauts during his time there) but might be as apt a summary of the 2013 ND football season as one can find.

Final Thought - I
2014 is the the final 'A' Lot year before supposed 'progress' plows it under. Looking ahead to next year's schedule w a couple observations...

August
30     RICE                                 Labor Day weekend -  see all two of you who'll probably show up

September
  6     MICHIGAN (night)           Linipalooza V weekend?!
13     Purdue (Indianapolis)
27     @ Syracuse

October
  4     STANFORD                     After 11 yrs. Shane Skov finally moves on
11     NORTH CAROLINA      Elijah Hood comes to ND...
18     @ Florida State                  Game of the year?  Let's hope so.

November
  1     Navy (Fedex Field, MD)    Two weeks to prepare for that accursed offense
  8      @ Arizona State
15     NORTHWESTERN        Our Michigan State replacement?  I'll take it.
22     LOUISVILLE                  Sans Charlie Strong & Teddy Bridgewater!
29     @ USC                              No Marquise Lee! (And probably a bunch of others...)

Final Thought - II
I'm feeling a bit tapped out. So until next season.  Or at least February... Great seeing all of you this past year!

And Now For Something Not So Completely Different...

Isn't this why we watch?  Why we care?  Why I write my drivel...

There's really not that many times in one's life when I can honestly say, "I remember exactly where I was when..." A couple easy ones:

• JFK's assassination (1st grade, Rev. George A. Brown School)
• Neil Armstrong's moon walk (my aunts' house, Ottawa IL)
• Lini's kidnapping by Dillon (my Grace Hall dorm room)
• 9/11 (FCB's Milan office)

Out of my way, little Englishman...

One less obvious moment was on June 24, 1995 when the New Zealand All Blacks played South Africa's Springboks in the Rugby World Cup.  

The All Blacks had a player, Jonah Lomu, the likes of which the sport had never seen before - a guy literally the size of Lawrence Taylor and fast.  That year, New Zealand tore through the field like a hot knife through butter.  Living in a near-London suburb at the time, I recall their 45-29 pasting of England to have been particularly humiliating (the game not being nearly as close as the score would suggest). 

Even with the final being played in Johannesburg against a really good home team,  the outcome was expected to be no different.  The All Blacks had Lomu.  But then something happened.  Mandela came to watch the game and gets introduced to the crowd pre-kickoff, Black president of a country known for it's shameful apartheid history, wearing a Springboks jersey.  

Hey there, elitist white boy sport, I'm your biggest fan!

Even through the TV screen, one could feel the... vibe.  And what was interesting was that the immediate reaction wasn't particularly spontaneous but built and built and built. At a certain point, you kinda knew you were witnessing something culturally important.

Much like the game itself - I was a total rugby neophyte - I'm sure at the time I didn't fully understand that.  (Plus, I was watching in England so inevitably there was alcohol involved.)

One would like to say, at that point, 'game over'.  But it actually wasn't really that way (final score 15-12, South Africa) but because the Springboks hung so tough against a potential Greatest Team of All Time candidate, anyone watching the game had a 'they're actually gonna do it' feeling grow as the game went on. 

Very, very cool.  And how often can you say that the award ceremony was more powerful than the actual game?

Song of The Week.
A Holiday Three-Pack, each in their own way, capturing the holiday spirit...   

For listening with a scotch...

For listening with (rum-based) egg nog...

For listening to with amyl nitrate poppers...

Here's wishing you and yours a terrific holiday season. Celebrate responsibly.

Word of The Week
 CONSPUE (v.)

:  To hate someone or something so much that you'd actually spit on it

Used in a sentence:  In the sports realm, there is nothing young Terry more passionately conspues than, well, a lot of things actually but for brevity-sake, Ohio State and their uber-hypocritical coach.

Game Time Observations

"J.J. Watt over Suh? Don't you want to humiliate Stanford?"

We had no game.  But you knew that.  

I did, however, have a dream.  

At first, I thought it was Clarence the Angel showing me What Life Would Be Like If There Had Never Been An 'A' Lot...

Terrifying.  

Though I did learn that every time Peter makes a Bloody Mary, an angel earns their wings.

But I digress.

Actually, Clarence was just a Make-A-Wish Foundation representative telling me they had made a mammoth clerical error and as such, even though I was neither a child nor suffering anything obviously life threatening, they had to award me my fantasy.  Which, as it turned out, involved Aaron Rodgers / Jamaal Charles / J.J. Watt / Patrick Willis / Earl Thomas suiting up for ND against Stanford.

Best. Dream. Ever.

Buddy's buddy

I still think he's Mr. Grumpy Pants on a good day (and Mr. Smug SOB most other days).  But unlike ND, his team seemed to get better every week and boy, did he ever have them primed against Tattoo U on Saturday night.

But I heard Charles Barkley (one of the most entertaining personalities alive, any genre) talk about how the thing that most impressed him about Mandela was his capacity for forgiveness.  He was imprisoned for 27 years and yet when he got out, he forgave. 

Check for your wallet, coach Dantonio...

With that in mind, I'm putting aside the PTSD I attribute to his Little Giant gambit and am giving it up for Mark Dantonio.  

This Bud's for you, coach.




The Schedule

August / September	October	November
31    TEMPLE                         W     7    @Michigan                       L   14   @Purdue                           W  21   MICHIGAN STATE         W  28   OKLAHOMA*                L	5   ARIZONA STATE (Dallas)     W  19   USC                                         W   26   @Air Force                              W	2     NAVY                             W    9    @Pitt                                 L    23    BYU                                 W  30    @Stanford                         L

*Linipalooza!

The Wager

And then there were... The Elite Eight:   Garrett, Bryan, John, Brian, Lini, Jerry P, Ryan C, Matt.

By unanimous proclamation - okay, I made it up myself... HERE'S THE TERMS OF THE TIE-BREAKER:

The Game:  Notre Dame vs. Rutgers, December 28, 2013

One point awarded for each exact, correct answer: 

1. Pick the winner - with the spread (currently, ND -17 pts.)
2. Pick the over / under (currently, 51 pts.)
3. Pick the 1st ND player to score.
4. How many TD passes does ND's starting QB throw?
5. How many INT's does ND's starting QB throw?

Five points possible earned, winner(s) to split the $600 pot after each finalist are paid their $25 entry fee.  Send your predictions by the morning of the 27th and I'll post 'em all for everyone to cheer or jeer.  And no one goes home a loser!  If you come up short, you're an instant Schadenfreude candidate!

Schadenfreude Winners 
This is definitely a week of quality over quantity...

1.  Ohio State. I am full of shame and self-loathing for the level of pleasure I took at the Buckeyes' losing.  (Decisively, I might add.)  

When I look at their team, all I see is thug, thug, illiterate thug, charged-but-never-convicted thug, thug, thug, Darwin Award semi-finalist, walk on thug. And The Anti-Christ as coach.   

2.  Oklahoma State.  How's that ROI on your $500MM, T. Boone?

Who says Texans don't have a sense of humor?

3.  Texas.  If nothing else, it'll be really fun watching Saban deny deny deny the "Nick to UT" rumors.




Lane's Lads

When the biggest games get played, the stars come out to shine. So do the tools.   Especially when their behavior is so often both inexplicable and inexcusable.

Richard Sherman.  Presently, is there a bigger douche in the NFL (and that's saying something).  Runs his mouth incessantly, as if he actually went to class at Stanford.  Inveterate cheap shot artist. The 49'er beat you and you blame it on the refs?  Okay, so let's add whiner to your skill set.

Dude, even your old coach Harbaugh wanted nothing to do with you. 

Cocktail of The Week

       The Dylan Thomas

• 1 oz. Scotch
• 1 oz. Scotch
• 1 oz. Scotch
• 1 oz. Scotch
• 14 oz. Scotch

Just drink the scotch.  Not for amateurs, Italians or people who value their liver.  Named after the great Welsh poet, who famously proclaimed "I've just had 18 straight whiskeys.  I think that's a record..."
 
And died not terribly long afterward.

Actually don't do this.  Ever. You will not go gently into that good night.

Recruiting Time!

So it's The New Era Pinstripe Bowl on Feif's birthday, against the Rutgers Scarlett Knights.

Better be a crushing victory.

That said, So far so good heading down the back stretch.

Only one week removed from last week's status update, here's the latest news on the group that seems of highest potential to be Class of '14 commitments:

1.  Nyles Morgan, ILB.  Still a stud, still liking ND a ton.  Gonna announce at one of the early January all-star games.  Apparently an ND-Vandy battle.
2.  Nile Sykes, ILB. Two things to like about him: he's supposed to be really good. And he's a close friend of Morgan's.  Very likely to commit at this weekend's football banquet.
3.  Michiah Quick, WR.  ND / Oklahoma / maybe USC now with all the Sark buzz.
4.  Alan Lazard, WR. Apparently, not happening. Just too far invested with Iowa State and as a legacy, even harder to back out.
5.  Charles Nelson.  Apparently ND'll take his commitment even if McKenzie qualifies.  He, too, will be at the banquet this weekend and is a better than 50-50 bet to commit.  
6.  Matt Elam, DL.  The kid likes to tweet. A lot.  A Kentucky kid, his short list is allegedly KY, 'Bama and us. He might be a giant mass of goo but we kinda need him. 
7.  JuJu Smith, S.  Having grown up an SC fan, Sark's hire seems to have changed everything.  And not in a good way for ND. Especially since Sark brought JuJu's uncle with him on staff from UW.
8.  Peyton Hendricks, S.  He's starting to look like a must-have guy. His teammate, an ND commit, is in his ear about du Lac but seems to be taking his time.
9.  Tyler Luatua, TE.  The lad has supposedly been an ND lock for most of the year, said he'd announce on his 12/15 birthday and now, has pushed it back to his January all-star game.  He's supposed to be really good but there's at least one other stud TE out there (who also visited recently).

Quote of The Week

I like Wharton students - they pay full retail...

"I don't care what people think of my poetry as long as they award it prizes."

Robert Frost, winner of 4 Pulitzers       

I've heard my brother, the legendary Dr. Tím Tím, express a similar sentiment - in fact every time he re-writes yet another forward to one of his many film books and re-issues it as "New Insights! More Pictures! Smaller Words!" to unsuspecting college students...

Final Thought - Reunion '14!

"Ray?  Ray Volk?!  It's me, Chris..."

Received my first piece of reunion propaganda and sadly, it wasn't from Jerry.  Or Barb.  A tad disappointing.  

But it did get me to thinking... it's never too early to begin preparing for the event.  Like establishing one's safe word - that subtle code word signaling "man in conversational distress!"  Engineers, accountants, you know the interpersonal skill-challenged classmate I'm talking about.

May I suggest 'Obamacare'?

Short.  Topical. Incendiary.  Not only will it stop that classmate from further expounding on their thriving actuarial practice in Wilkes Barre (and their go-to "death is a growth business" jokes) it'll evoke an almost Pavlovian response from this crowd to savagely join in the conversation and save that friend (and by 'that friend' I mean 'me') from 20 more minutes of mind-numbing chat they'd otherwise never get back. 

Alternative option:  Sweet Buttery Jesus!  

So named after the 62' iconic statue near Monroe, OH*.  While in reality neither sweet or butter-based (but, apparently flammable as it ultimately burnt to the ground)... what would appear to be a complete non sequitur makes a fantastic, Ron Burgundy-like exclamation to virtually any soul-sucking conversation you might find yourself in.

*Further justifying Ohio's position as perhaps the most underrated state for facilitating the truly bizarre... 

Final Thought -II

So what are you doing for dinner after the game?

That Geico Pig - would one be correct in assuming he's a Chiefs fan?

For a town that so loves its ribs, an interesting choice for a fan, isn't it?








Final Thought - III

Masterpiece Theater

It's Christmas time.  And what do (did) 801'ers do when there was snow on the ground and they had a couple weeks of free time on their hands?

"Hello, Wyndham, NY..." 

Party on, Wayne!   Party on, Garth.

Make sure you watch both parts, if only to see JP's impossibly awesome family.  (I'm thinking now they might've been hired actors...)