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Saturday, August 29, 2015

One Week To Go...

I consider this one of the most beautiful songs ever recorded.  And one of the most optimistic - the perfect song by which to place one's season wager -- with some dark liquor in hand, neat or rocks, to calm the soul with the assurance that your team is still undefeated and deserving of it's lofty Sports Illustrated ranking.  

Okay, perhaps their valuation was proffered just to shamelessly sell magazines... despite having our an unproven QB and an important anchor of the defensive interior now out for the season.    

Who'd do such a thing...

But I digress.   Today's post is about reminding that wagers are due within the week.  The dream of being a winner... realizing one's potential... all jeopardized if ACTION ISN'T TAKEN SOON!   

"Your money's no good here, Mr. Sullivan..."
Speaking of dreams, for most of my 20's I had a singular concept of The Dream Job.  

Not Bartender, Emeritus at Senior Bar.  
That aspiration was quite literally demolished in 1982.  

Not Voice of the Green Bay Packers, partnering with legendary pre-game Super Bowl II partier Max McGee. (He bought into Chi-Chi's, made millions and said goodbye to the Pack.) 

Nope, it was France's Minister of Culture.  

The basis of this vision was unassailably straightforward: this country worshipped Jerry Lewis - how hard could the job be?   
"People of France, there's a new sheriff in town...  "

At the time, the position was held by a fellow named Jack Lang (name, I believe, being pronounced like "Jacque Long").  

I'd have changed my pronunciation if I got the position... to emphasis the 2nd syllable... Ter-Ronce, rolling the r's in a swarthy, not-to-be-trusted southern Eurpean fashion.  

Or just Ronce to my closest friends and advisors. 

Sorry.  Another digression. 

At any rate, Jack was always seen dressing in the latest fashion while squiring around hot, aspiring actresses* and eating at the most exclusive restaurants.  He was, after all, Monsieur Culture.  He wasn't The World's Most Interesting Man - he was better.  He was French. 

* well that's what the newspapers called them.

What did Jack actually do? What contributions to French Society did he make?   Who the hell knows?  More importantly, who cared?  Apparently, the French didn't!

Hello.  That's why it's called a dream job.

The point to all this is... absolutely nothing!  

This is the pre-season!  

When betting, The 3 R's (Rationale, Reason and Regression Analyses) are for Losers!

Do you think past Multiple Winners (see Brunett, Al) use any of those tools?  

I think not.

And from the supporting language that's accompanied the submissions so far, none of those appear to be factors. 

Quote of the Month
"I love deadlines.  
I like the whooshing sound 
they make as they fly by..."
Douglas Adams

Just prepping for the new blog season... 

The Schedule - More Data For Your Regression Analysis Guess...

5       Texas           Linipalooza on the 3rd!  Rasmatazz on the 4th!  Golf in between...
12     @ Virginia        Corrigans - Ungashicks storm Charlottesville!
19     Georgia Tech
26     UMass       Judge John's in town - does 'no' still mean 'no'?

3      @ Clemson    Ungie hits SC.  Over/under on timing of his arrest? 6pm.  Friday.
10     Navy
17     USC                Game of The Year?!
31     @ Temple     Corrigan Bros. Reunion - lock your doors, Philly!

7      @ Pitt
14     Wake Forest
21     @ BC (Fenway Park)  'A' Lot goes to Beantown*.   Oh boy. 
28     @ Stanford

*  3-7pm pre-game get together at Dillon's on Boylston.  (Don't let the name put you off, it's a bar, not a petting zoo.)

More Pre-Wager Data... 

Reading the Insider message boards, plan on seeing a lot of freshmen making a near immediate impact, although perhaps some more than others:
Perhaps not all of them..

-  Jerry Tillery, DL
-  CJ Sanders, WR
- Nick Coleman
-  Equanimeous St. Brown, WR
-  Alize Jones, TE
-  Justin Yoon, K

And other When-Did-They-Get-Good? candidates:

  • Torii Hunter, WR
  • Max Redfield, S
  • Drue Tranquill, S / LB
  • Romeo Okwara, DE
  • Isaac Rochell, DL

My candidate for the ONE GUY WE CANNOT LOSE:  Tarean Folston.   
If he goes down, Kelly may be inquiring about ex-sprinter Jerry Wills' eligibility. 

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner
Updated!  Still looking for last year's money... unless you sent me money and my wife steamed open the envelope... 
  • B Ward, K Maher, Ungie, A Brunett, R Raymond, D Ryan. 
Checks may be sent to:

TP Corrigan
Former Greenskeeper, Scotchlandia
663 Old Suman Road
Valparaiso, IN  46383

 Which Dan Are You?
ND Implication
Daniel Day Lewis

Greatest actor of our generation.  And he’s Irish.  Does it get any better than that?

I think not. 

12: Kevin C, Brian M

11:  Bryan G, Bob R, JP McG, Jay F, Jerry W, Kevin M, Peter B, Dave M
Danny Noonan

In the sequel that never got made, he went on to become a wealthy hedge fund manager, avoids jail,  buys Bushwood, and maintains Lacy Underalls as his mistress.  

 Nice recovery from a fairly shaky start.

10: Terry C, Jerry P, John L, Jerry Ci, Matt L, Ted C, Tim S, Lini, Jim B, Ryan C, Tim C, Graham C

 9:  Daryl M, Jim S, Garrett R*, Dave G, Mark U, Tom F, Mike C, Jim R, Mike G
Lt. Dan

Heroic, absolutely.

Sympathetic, without any doubt. 
Successful small business owner, impressive.

Still a paraplegic. 

Who wants to trade 

places with him?

8:  Blair R*, Ray V, Jim T, Brian W, Randy R

 7:  Al B
Danny Torrance

Redrum!  Redrum!

Sure he survived but still sees Scatman Crothers in his dreams, even after graduating from Mother Theresa’s School For The Irretrievably Unbalanced.  

Not exactly a success story.

Dante Alighieri

He didn’t write 'Paradiso', he wrote Inferno.  

As in Hell. 

Which is where ND football would be if this occurs. 

* too bad the winnings won't offset your being disinherited for a prediction grounded in such pessimism.  But you'll always have this to brag about in the soup lines.

Today's  Word for the Wager.

Spuddle (v.)
  • To tend to trivial matters as if they were of the utmost importance.
Used in a sentence:  With all the other important matters going on in the world, from market crashes to health crises of loved ones, Young Terry realized that football predictions represented spuddling at its finest.  But he thought to himself, "Dammit, that's who I am!"

Schadenfreude Candidate of The Week
Ann Arbor, to be clear... khakis are not a 'look'

1.  Michigan.  Okay, they haven't even played yet.  But they kick off on Thursday night vs. Utah with Optimism being the 'coin of the realm' in Ann Arbor.  Hey, they've got a new successful-wherever-he-goes-totally-antisocial-in-a-textbook-sociopathic-way coach.  

But they're gonna lose.  And Harbaugh will not be happy.  

But I will. 

Terry's Trolls

And we haven't even started playing the games yet...

1.  Art Briles.  Or Chris Petersen.  Or maybe both.   You may have heard about the Baylor player recently convicted of rape and sentenced to 6 months in jail and 10 years probation... he was a transfer from Boise State where he'd been dismissed from that program.  Hmmm.  What did Briles know about this transfer candidate?  What did Petersen tell him? Unclear.  But one or both of you would seem to a) be not telling 'the whole truth and nothing but the truth' and/or  b) sold another piece of your soul for the sake of talented athlete. 

2.  Steve Sarkisian.   USC coaches - the gift that keeps on giving.  Truth be told, if the guy has a drinking problem (and by all accounts he does), get help.

Kids, I've got snacks!
3.  Greg Bryant.  Enrolls at ASA Miami, a fledgling JUCO that even other JUCO's are asking, "where?"  And he's re-opened his recruitment.  Good for you, Greg.  Good luck w that.  This whole story just feels... sad.

3.  Jared Fogle.   Giving new meaning to the Foot-long Subway Special...  12 1/2 years for sex with "at least" two minors* and child pornography.   

*In southern Indiana, that is so unfair.  At least 2 of 'em were cousins - that doesn't count, does it?

Who Wants To Be A Star?

Now this is the look. Convivial. Tasteful without being gaudy. 

Less than a week to the Linipalooza* - Rasmatazz** combo platter, a reminder that we'll be shooting a new blog headline photo for the 2015 season.  

Casting calls begin at the bar, 7pm sharp.  Wear something visually arresting. 

Just not Jared-level arresting. 


*  Thursday, Sept. 3rdVilla Lini (Chicago IL 60610); 6:30pm to whenever my wife leaves.
** Friday, Sept. 4thChateau du Raz (Winnetka IL 60091); 6:30pm dinner,  8:30pm concert, 9-time Grammy winners, western swing band Asleep At The Wheel*.

*If we ever get Washington for a home game, here's hoping can we expect Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains... 

An English Major Walks Into A Bar…

Paradise Sauced

(Paradise Lost, 1667)
by John Milton

An apple a day may keep the dentist away but the Devil's no doctor.  Paradise Lost, John Milton's 17th Century blank verse poem (no Dr. Suess rhymes here) was one of the first examples of Christian literature to paint Adam, Eve and your old friend Satan in gray strokes - less Good v. Evil and more like Complicated v. Conflicted. 

Remarkably Milton didn't just write a 12-part book, he spoke it:  the author was blind so he had to dictate the entire text to some kind of angel.  Toast Milton's Godlike effort with a recipe that features a sinful apple at its core.  It'll be worth the price tomorrow morning:
  •      Sugar, for cocktail rim
  •      1 1/2 oz., vodka
  •      1 oz. sour apple schnapps
  •      1/2 oz. lime juice
  •      1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

Rim a chilled cocktail glass in sugar and set aside.  Shake the ingredients with ice and strain into the glass.  Prepare to pucker up after a sip of this sour sauce and contemplate the duality that is the ND football program. And maybe their players.

Buddy's Buddy.

Apparently, the Budster has more sway in the Afterlife than I actually thought... I thank you and Jason Day thanks you.

And in a bit of poetic symmetry,  this edition's winner is recent PGA Championship loser, Jordan Spieth.

The screen shot below might've been my favorite moment of the tournament.  With that lag putt, Day essentially shut the door on any kind of van de Veldian collapse - and his closest competitor - a 22 yr. old - let him know, "well done."

That was way cool. 

Thanks, Buddy.  And thanks, Jordan.  The sporting world has enough tools in it already and precious few genuinely good guys.

Final Thought -I

Heroes come in different shapes and sizes.  

Allow me to introduce you to my newest:  

Catherine Claire Flaherty.  

Less than two weeks old and tougher than I'll ever be.  

Look out, Notre Dame incoming Class of 2033. 

She's coming and she's not someone to be trifled with. 

"I won't bow,
I won't break, 
I won't bend,
I'll tough it out..."

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