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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Week 6: Batten Down The Hatches

And now I must confess, I could use some rest.

I can't run at this pace very long.
Yes it's quite insane, think I hurt my brain...

Perhaps this happens to you - you hear a song or an artist and it immediately reminds you of someone, something and / or a specific time.  It can be a pretty cool experience, bringing you back in time almost instantaneously.   

I take it back - tuba's aren't lame...
Assuming the memory is a positive one.  For example, if Barry Manalow's "Copacabana" was playing while you were getting viciously hazed at band camp, that would probably not be a fond association with the song. 

But I digress.  

Weather was certainly the topic du jour last weekend in the college football world. Hurricane Matthew this. Hurricane Matthew that.  So when I heard 'hurricane', I invariably thought of 'Jimmy Buffett' and his A1A album. And when I think Jimmy Buffett, I think...

Thank you, Coat Man.  We needed a new door. 
Coat Man.

Like many mythical creatures - e.g., the Mexican chupacabra,  the Greek chimera, the Tibetan yeti - there's a common misconception about their intent.  

That their very nature was destructive, malevolent, evil.   

And in Coat Man's case, while it was true that material goods were often broken, pulverized really, after an appearance (ironically not unlike a natural disaster) perhaps it was fair to say he was a misunderstood acquired taste.

Well maybe not everyone was 'not unintelligent'...
But House 801 was not an unintelligent lot and CM was universally regarded as A Force For Good. 

Why else would we repeatedly light the ritual bong fires, summoning Coat Man's presence - awaiting the strains of "Boat Drinks" that inevitably signaled his arrival?

To bring Good Will to All Men (and Ladies), that's why.   

And so, after watching (half of a) football game that shouldn't have been played, ultimately meant nothing and still left me in despair, I found myself wondering:

Where Is A Modern Day Coat Man When We Need Him?

Game Observations

At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender

And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way...

Sing it, coach Kelly!

If you didn't see the game, I'm envious.  I still possess low impulse control and it being only 11am in Scotchlandia (a solid hour shy of respectable drinking time), I turned on the TV.

Big mistake.  But I'm going to spare you any pithy thoughts - they'd only be a cut 'n paste of prior weeks frustration.  Instead a quick synthesis of my viewing experience. Perhaps it resembled your own:

Word of The Week

Used in a sentence:   Young Jerrence had such high hopes for the football season: double digit wins, a shot at a BCS playoff spot, recognition as a truly elite program.   

108 years.  No pressure.
His subsequent realization that, in fact, the obverse was true left him bereft of hope, and more practically speaking, options.  

What was he to do?  Could it be his short-term sports viewing happiness depended upon... the Cubs? 

Quote of the Week

"Faith is 24 hours of doubt and a minute of hope."
The Innocents

Critically acclaimed Sundance film about Polish nuns in crisis during WW II. 

If the producers waited another 18 months they could've made it about ND football fans 2016, used the same quote (well, maybe 3 hours of doubt) and retitled it "The Idiots."

II.  The 2016 Schedule 

'No' still means 'no', John...
3       @Texas                  L  (0-1)
10     Nevada                  W (1-1)
17     Michigan State     L  (1-2)
26     Duke                      L  (1-3)

1      @Syracuse             W (2-3)
8     @NC State              L  (2-4)    
15    Stanford       Alumni Hall reunion!
29   Miami                 

5      @Navy     
12     Army 
21     Va. Tech 
28    @USC    

Many, Perhaps Most, of You Won't... But You Should See...

Hamilton.   They say history is written by the victors.  Aaron Burr would probably debate that.

But what if that history was portrayed in far more racially diverse fashion?

And what if that history was articulated in a far more contemporary lexicon? 

Would the outcome be any less interesting... fascinating...  wonderful?

I think not.   

By the end of the 1st Act, more joy was experienced than this whole season of ND football. (Okay, not a terribly high bar...)

Coming to a theater near you...

And don't be put off by FOHH (Fear Of Hip Hop) - the music is extremely melodic, the word play is beyond clever, the choreography is remarkable and the historically accurate basis of the story is pretty amazing.  

Run, don't walk to see this.

And I CANNOT wait until Lin-Manuel takes on his next musical epic, Kelly!

I Don't Think We'll Be Needing a Tie-Breaker This Year...

Six games in, and only seven names left... I don't wish to sound bitter but time to start considering a charity for this year's funds...

I can't believe we're heading past Wicker Man territory.

Which Nic Flick R U?

Why ND Relevant


Raising Arizona

Genius from start to finish. And be honest – you never thought it’d be as terrific as it ended up being.

Kevin C 
Brian M
Bryan G
Joe S



Über clever direction meets surprising performances even if one is a bit confused by the overall journey.

Jay F
Spit the Elder
Tim S
Graham C
Mark U
Daryl M

Ted C
Dave M


Leaving Las Vegas

By all objective measures a high quality performance.  So why does one now feel so despondent?
Mike C
Matt L
Ray V
Jerry C
Brian W
Peter B
Jim S
Dave G
Jim B
Tom F
Spit the Younger


 Con Air

At times both awful and awesome, but with enough enjoyable lines (and stuff getting blown up) to distract one from the disappointment of what could’ve been something really special.

Tim C
Kevin M
Dennis R
Mike G
Jerry W 
Jerry P
Shea C
Pat C
Alex S


  National Treasure

Nowhere near great. But one finds oneself looking back on it more fondly than is justified. 

And if no one’s around... satisfying enough that one’ll watch it when it comes on late at night.

Al B
Jim T 
Ryan C
John L
Randy R
Blair R


The Wicker Man

You've seen this movie before.  Literally.  And you weren't that impressed the first time.  

You're cognizant that you've entered The Disaster Zone - where career legacies are re-written.  And never for the good.

Jim R


Ghost Rider

Oh dear Lord.   You feel physically ill just watching this – and knowing it’s not an aberrant 'one off' performance.

and under

 Season of the Witch

We’ve fallen and we're not getting back up.  

How incredibly sad.

What's on The History Channel?

Schadenfreude of the Montb 
"Celebrating The Misfortune of Other Teams Since 1956"

Stanford.    The good news: you apparently aren't very good, either.  The smug expression on your head coach's face hasn't been seen for almost a month.  Your Heisman trophy candidate is banged up.   

Shall I go on?

The bad news: you'll probably still make us look foolish Saturday night.

 But for now, I'm reveling in your wasted season.

Michigan State.  For those keeping score (and I kinda am), coach D, you haven't won since beating Notre Dame.    (Wouldn't it be great if I could just leave this sentence here all year?)

Houston.  The good news: Another top 10 team has its season derailed.   
The bad news:  now we can expect Navy to kick our ass. 

SF Giants.  Sorry, brother Kevin, but my emotional chips are virtually all being pushed to the center of the table on the Cubs.  And after blowing their chance against a unexpectedly mortal Bumgarner, I was not feeling good about their chances.  At least live to fight another day.  

Red rain is pouring down

Pouring down all over me

Terry's Trolls

As alluded earlier, this blogger saw "Hamilton" this week. Truly remarkable.  Did you know that it's writer / creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda, won a MacArthur Foundation "Genius Grant" for it, in the process bagging a cool $625k and accepted recognition, as well, a genius?

Suffice it to say, nobody in this section of the blog is going to challenge for that award any time soon.  Or ever.  Starting with Notre Dame's present fearless leader in the pole position of this week's list.

Don't get your hopes up, coach. 

1. Brian Kelly.   This may surprise you but I haven't totally jumped off his bandwagon*.  But I have asked said wagon to slow down.  Clearly, Saturday was not his great, shining moment. Throwing repeatedly in a monsoon, really?  And continuing to throw, as in 'under the bus' in his post-game press conference - publicly criticizing his center for poor snaps in the same godawful weather?  (Hey, Brian - did you ever consider, maybe, taking some snaps under center?) 

*Who would ND get that's legitimately better?  

It was later than I thought… when I first believed you.

Now I cannot share your laughter, ship of fools.

2. Jim Harbaugh.   Yes, I'm jealous about how quickly he / they have turned around things. Yes, I think he's an elite coach.  I also believe there's no justifiable reason, really ever, to hang ~ 80 points on a team.  Especially one where there's no bad blood historically like Rutgers. Perhaps you hate New Jersey.  

3.  Mark May.   Even without Lou Holtz as a foil, or maybe because, you're still a dick.  

And absolutely no one is surprised.

Buddy's Buddy

How many times has one heard that the fans were the 12th man - that additional, often inspirational element that brought a team to victory?

 Clearly not the case here.

But there was no doubt that the defense put in their very best showing of the year - well done, boys!

Okay, raise your hand if you thought they could've done that under normal conditions. Put your hand down, Peter, we aren't taking drink orders.

Of course they couldn't have.  But no good effort should go unrecognized so this week's award goes to the ND 12th man, Hurricane Matthew. 

Now if you could re-direct yourself to northern Indiana on Saturday... 

Don't try to bleed me

I've been there before and I deserve a little more...

Cocktail of The Month
"Match that innovation, Wharton!"
Keeping with the tropical weather theme.

And maybe biblical theme too, given how historically bad this season is shaping up to be.

Which is cruelly ironic - as the film was a runaway winner, picking up Academy Awards for virtually everything except their craft services food truck.  

At any rate, a drink with some kick, unlike ND. 

Ben-Hur (1959)
Directed By William Wyler

Hope your sofa's comfy!  Clocking in at a little over 3 1/2 hours, Ben Hur is the tale of a fictional Jewish prince (Charlton "from my cold dead hands" Heston) who, along with his family, is wrongly imprisoned and sent to the Roman galleys.  

After inspirational encounters with local celebrity Jesus Christ, Ben-Hur finally gets his chance to exact revenge on the former friend, Urban Meyer, who sent him to jail in the first place, culminating in the legendary chariot racing scene that's still gripping today - not to mention dripping with homoerotic undertones.   (What can I say, Gore Vidal was one of the uncredited screenwriters.)
The over/under is how much?! Have you seen the weather forecast...

Prepare to be a slave to our epic, passion-of-the-fruit cocktail that should help this movie speed by.
  • 2 oz. light rum
  • 2 oz. dark rum
  • 2 oz. passion fruit juice
  • 1 oz. orange juice
  • 1/2 oz. lime juice
  • 1/2 oz. lemon juice
  • 1/2 oz. grenadine syrup
  • Lemon wedge, for garnish
  • Lime wedge, for garnish
  • Orange wedge, for garnish
  • Cherry, for garnish
Move over, holy water - this drink is biblical.  Pour the two rums into a Collins glass with ice. Add the remaining juices, pour the grenadine over the top. Stir.  Garnish with the fruits.

Final Thought - I

Less than a month to go and out-takes from The Apprentice are alleged to be much worse.  

What's the proper reaction here: laughter or tears?

Final Thought - II

Bob Dylan wins Nobel Prize for Literature...

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