Do You
Know Me?
I was the central figure in
one of the most well known, low budget cult films of all time – a movie
inspired by Wisconsin’s original bad boy. If Notre Dame scores a
commitment from one of its highest priority recruits, you can expect a near
endless stream of references to me and my 1974 movie over the next 3-4 years.
Song of the Week
“From small
things, mama
Big things
one day come…”
The Bruce Springsteen-penned
song, covered by Dave Edmunds, couldn’t have a more straightforward message,
even if the story told is fairly off point. We’re improving – finally, it would
seem – beating the bad / mediocre teams in the comfortable fashion we’ve been
waiting years to see. Perhaps the pace of improvement is more glacial
than we’d like. And who knows if it’ll last. And without making more of
the victory than it was, the data points over the course of year suggest small
steps forward, leading to possibly big things one day coming.
I hope. Of course if we
gag against BC I’ll be singing an entirely different tune next week.
Pre-Game
Those respective uniforms /
helmets… ouch. Reminiscent of… what exactly?
 |
| "Coach Edsall, I think your uniforms hurt my head real bad...." |
·
The Shining.
 |
| "The good news is that MOMA will buy your uniforms after we're done with 'em..." |
·
Jackson Pollack.
 |
| "With a nip and a tuck, we can totally make those uni's work for next racing season..." |
·
The Preakness.
Observations from The Game
·
Initial kick off and
Maryland’s returner runs… sideways. That certainly bodes well for the
rest of the evening.
·
This game should be
over by halftime.
·
Another wasted time
out because we couldn’t get into the play. Typical.
·
I am vexed. 1st
drive – a nice combination of runs and easy passes. Then we get all pass
happy and we stop dead in our tracks.
·
When did the
beige/crème color become part of our team colors? (Editor’s note: that’s
supposed to be gold?!)
·
Good to know that TJ
Jones is still pathetic at blocking on bubble screens.
· This is going to be
the best game that Steve Filer’s jersey ever played!
· The last time I saw
a ball with such a majestic draw on it as Ruffer’s FG, Peter was striping tee
shots into the North Sea.
·
I hope you all
enjoyed the 2011 Ben Turk highlight.
·
Uh oh. Why is Lo
Wood playing this early?
·
I wonder if we even
bother to practice punt returns during the week anymore?
·
Maryland bubble
screen – TD. And our LB’s fail us again on crossing patterns.
·
The way we can run
against Maryland, why wouldn’t you put in Hendrix as part of a regular package?
·
Mayock quote of the
night: “Aaron Lynch flies!” Yes, he does.
 |
| "It's halftime, Lisa, and I'm headed to the highlands!" |
·
Halftime - did
you know Macallan whiskey comes from the northern Speyside district, an area
known for producing the sweetest single malts, rich w floral overtones and
honey notes? Sure you did! But you probably didn’t know that when I pull
out the Macallan at half time, quite often to pass the halftime downtime, I
like to put on Mark Knopfler’s “Going Home”, throw on the jaunty tam o’ shanter
and speak in complete indecipherable gibberish. Usually to myself.
Hey, we all have our own rituals for success.
·
Much like last
week’s proclamation of love for Robert Blanton, this week’s man crush is for
Tyler Eifert. Him leaving after his junior year might be a genuine
possibility.
·
Anybody see
Maryland’s back up QB, C.J. Brown, rocking the cowl-like, Eddie Munster hair
cut?!
·
And Alex Flanagan’s
Snow Princess look?! (How cold was it there anyway?)
·
How is it we can
find time for an entire platoon of defensive 2nd stringers but we
can’t get Hendrix three snaps?
If Saturday’s Game was a
movie poster, it’d be… “Dumb & Dumber.”
"For Harry and Lloyd, Every Day Was A No-Brainer."
Let’s face it, this victory
shouldn’t have been difficult and it wasn’t. What was especially
impressive is that Kelly didn’t try to think to overthink the game plan –
Maryland was something like 110th in running defense. No
brainer? Pretty close.
Word of the Week
Pastiche. pas·tiche
noun \pas-ˈtēsh, päs-\
1 a literary,
artistic, musical, or architectural work that imitates the style of previous
work; also: such stylistic imitation
2 a musical,
literary, or artistic composition made up of selections from different works :
potpourri b: hodgepodge
Origin of PASTICHE
·
French, from Italian
pasticcio
·
First Known Use:
1878
Used in a sentence… The pastiche
that has become college football uniform designs has reached a stomach-turning
level of excess.
Ø Week X Buddy Award.
 |
| Robbie's new nickname! (Buddy loved this movie.) |
Last week I was extremely critical
of the linebackers. Saturday my disappointment turned to our WR’s... Floyd is a
beast but even he dropped a few passes, TJ Jones has never lived up to his
recruiting hype…. and Theo Riddick – even when he’s there – is
underwhelming. But along comes lil’ Robbie Toma who looks fast’ elusive
and seems to catch everything thrown his way. The offense needed another
receiving spark beyond Floyd / Eifert and Robbie provided it. He’s
deserving. Plus he’s the size of a perfect playtoy for Buddy.
And a
necessary word about Tommy’s BUDDY candidacy. His statistics were
impressive but as Sully pointed out, he just wasn’t that impressive. When
the game was still in doubt, we were consistently bailed out by Jones / Woods 3rd
down running more than any clutch passing. We’ve beaten this horse to death,
Tommy is seemingly the best we got, but his play wasn’t that uniquely critical
to the win in my humble opinion.
Schadenfreude of the Week.
·
Penn State. This may seem like kicking a school when they’re
down – and I don’t take great pleasure in the strict definition of
schadenfreude as it relates to the PSU situation – but there was rumor of the
game ball being walked to the Paterno house if they had won. And I simply
couldn’t handle that.
·
Ohio State. Missed a game winning PAT with less than 1:00 to
go. Then blow it in OT. To Purdue! Pardon my gaffaw.
Good thing your administration’s proactive hand slapping will keep the NCAA
wolves from the door. Oh, it won’t? Oops.
·
Boise State. Honestly, how does anyone take them
seriously? They play no one, they draw their stadium inspiration from The
Smurfs and they complain about lack of respect?
·
Stanford. I understand that it wasn’t in ND’s best interests
having Stanford lose. But if they had to – and the Oregon game wasn’t even
really that close – I’m going to celebrate it as I embrace my inner
pettiness. It irritates me greatly that they can be considered so good
when they recruit the same caliber of kids that ND does. One can only hope this
is the end of the honeymoon period resulting from having Andrew Luck hang
around for an extra year.)
 |
| "I don't care how popular 'Friends' was, we're not taking that brain..." |
·
Rice. Rice gets pasted by Northwestern 28-6 in the
1st annual Brainiac Bowl. And in an interesting twist on the
typical awards traded back and forth in such rivalries, the two schools have
agreed that each year the loser will trade an actual alumnus for
scientific study purposes. Accordingly, Rice will be putting former
Secretary of State James Baker on a plane to Evanston, IL later this
week. And in an amusing, if sad, sidebar, Northwestern tried to give away
David Schwimmer but Rice politely refused.
Terry’s Tool Time.
·
 |
| "Burn 'em!" |
Gene Smith. Truth be told, I always thought the distinction of
being Notre Dame’s most queswtionable graduate fell to someone on this
distribution list. But that recognition has to go to Ohio State’s
athletic director, ND class of ‘77. As things continue to
implode for the Buckeyes on the compliance front, Gene is looking and sounding
increasingly like he’s either clueless, incompetent or both. Or maybe
just arrogant beyond belief. I CANNOT wait for the NCAA to drop the
hammer on them.
Papal Succession (aka
‘What’s Next for Penn State coaching)
Mr. Feifar posed the question of
‘what now?’ for the Penn State coaching search. Dismissing for the moment
the not-entirely-out-of-the-realm-of-possibility scenario of the school
shutting down the program*, Tom floated Urban Meyer’s name as The Next
Man In – which got me to thinking of “If the Church were involved in this
search – pause a minute for the grim irony of that thought in this context –
who would they hire?”, it reminded me that All Urbans Are Not Created Equal.
We all know that coach Meyer was
named after a pope – but there were eight Urbans! Check out the mixed
bag:
 |
| "Galileo, Figaro - magnifico..." |
Urban
I
Life shrouded in mystery - a martyred death by beheading ended up being natural
causes. But they made him a saint anyway. Probably an administrative mistake,
like how I got into ND.
Urban
II
Started the 1st Crusade. So he’s got that going for him.
Urban
III
Absolutely nothing happened during his three years. But the undefeated
papal fencing teams were in perfect compliance with The Holy See.
Urban
IV
Tried to stir up a Crusade but failed. Moved to Verona. (Italy, not New
Jersey.)
Urban
V
Brought the papacy back to Italy, establishing risotto Milanese as the
‘holiest of holy’ papal entrees.
Urban
VI
Original dark horse candidate (he was never actually a cardinal). The
French hated him. Symptomatic of his unremarkable reign, he ultimately died
after falling off his mule.
Urban
VII The
George O’Leary of Pope Urbans, lasted only 13 days.
Urban
VIII Basically
bankrupted the papacy; even bigger claim to fame was his attack on Galileo,
pushing him to recant his findings.
So despite great name appeal,
the fact is you just never know what you’re going to get in your succession
planning.
Pat Forde, on the other hand,
writing for Yahoo Sports, has offered a more considered this list as a starting
point:
1.
Urban Meyer.
a.
Why it would work: Big-time winner with two national titles and
Midwestern roots, plus he’s available. In pure football terms, this might be a
better re-entry than Ohio State, where NCAA and self-imposed sanctions are
likely in the near future. And it would be a clean break from the Paterno Era,
which is no longer a sacrilegious thing to say.
b.
Why it won’t: Meyer can have whatever job he wants; does he
want to take over at a place where the very name of the school currently produces
outrage and anger across much of America? Would Penn State pay him enough?
2.
Mark Dantonio.
a.
Why it would work: He’s pushed Michigan State back into Big Ten
prominence, which is not as easy as it sounds. He knows the Big Ten block
thoroughly, from his time as an assistant at Ohio State and in East Lansing.
Also has no ties to Paterno and current staff.
b.
Why it won’t: Might not want the mess and might prefer OSU
despite looming sanctions. And as a loyal former Tressel assistant, he might be
reluctant to take the job after his mentor’s ignominious removal.
3.
Al Golden.
a.
Why it would work: Has ties to Paterno that warm the hearts of
alums. Did the impossible by making Temple relevant. Might have a very easy out
from his Miami contract after being trap-doored by the administration over the
looming Nevin Shapiro scandal.
b.
Why it won’t: Has ties to Paterno that might chill the blood of
the next administration. Even the Miami scandal looks pedestrian to PSU, so he
might not want to switch headaches.
4.
Greg Schiano.
a.
Why it would work: Many believe this is the job the Rutgers coach
covets, which led to him turning down Michigan when RichRod was hired. He’s
taken the historically horrible Scarlet Knights to five of their six all-time
bowl appearances. Knows the recruiting territory intimately.
b.
Why it won’t: Never won a Big East title despite the downturn
in league fortunes in recent years. (That may change this season as Rutgers is
a half-game out of first at the moment.)
5.
Nick Saban.
a.
Why it would work: Arguably the premier coach in college
football. From nearby West Va., not a Southerner and not a guy who has stayed
in any job for longer than five years. And this is Year Five at Alabama, a
burnout job. (TC’s note: Hey, if ND could dream about Bob Stoops, why can’t
Penn State fantasize about Saban?)
b.
Why it won’t: A long shot to begin with; Saban is wired
to win titles and that’s much easier done where he is now than anywhere in the
Big Ten. PSU might not be able to afford him.
*With all of the key players starting to
go public with their stories, does anyone not think this is going to get
A LOT uglier before it’s gets any better? High on the list of “what
if’s”: what if it’s demonstrated that since 1998, there has been an
organized, systemic ‘sweep under the rug’ of The Sandusky Issue. That
makes “lack of institutional control’ look like misdemeanor non-payment of
parking tickets. With national outrage at a fever pitch, doesn’t the
school have to consider shutting it down – in effect, a self-imposed death
penalty?
Recruiting
 |
| "I can so run the spread..." |
Here’s what I find ironic:
we may end up showing a 1 or 2 game improvement in our win-loss record over
last year – by most standards a disappointment – but because Kelly wins in
November, we have the look of a team that’s improving… and 18 yr.
olds (with the attention spans of gnats) take more notice! Sweet! You
could also make an argument that we are benefiting from a mini-perfect
storm of other relevant schools’ screw up’s: USC on probation, Ohio State’s
impending sanctions, UNC impending sanctions, Penn State’s
disaster. At any rate, this week’s recruiting news largely involved the
renewed interest in ND by the top rated QB in the U.S., Gunner Kiel.
Considered more of pro style guy, he apparently is so good you take him.
And can run. And Kelly is personally handling his recruitment.
Given the lad’s ND ties (uncle Blair was that QB under Gerry Faust that Albert
couldn’t recall), the buzz is that ND’s got a really strong shot at landing
him. Which leads back to this missive’s original tease. Meet Gunnar
Hansen, the man who brought heretofore unseen pathos to the archetypal
misunderstood* masked, chainsaw wielding miscreant…
* and by ‘misunderstood’ I mean literally
misunderstood – with an odd mask and a primate’s vocabulary, who knows what he’s saying? Maybe he just needed a hug.
A personal footnote: back in the early 80’s, while dating my (now)
wife, Lisa presented me with an article called “My Dinner With Leatherface” –
an American Film Institute interview with Mr. Hansen. And I
thought: finally, someone who gets me.
Final observations
The venue being Maryland,
inspiration immediately went to my wife (Maryland alum) as well as one of my
favorite books ever, John Barth’s “The Sot-Weed Factor”. Both of which
make me laugh my ass off (and I mean that in the nicest possible way).
 |
| "...loathe entirely." |
Regarding the latter,
written in 1960 and satirizing the establishment of colonial Maryland,
the novel parodies the 18th century genre of the ‘rogue’ novel and in
particular Fielding's Tom Jones and Sterne's Tristram Shandy. It’s a
large, loosely structured work, with digressions, distractions, stories within
stories, and lists. (IS THERE ANY WONDER I LOVE IT?!)
Set in the 1860’s and 90’s, the
book uses words like “besotted” a lot. And so besotted was I with this piece of
literature that I immediately recommended it to my then girlfriend, now wife.
And after reading, her reaction was equally swift and visceral – she
HATED it. She could not have been more emphatic in expressing that POV 30
years ago… and still today. Thank God we still have Leatherface.
But none of that is the
point. Which is this: The Sot-Weed Factor’s fictional protagonist,
Ebenezer Cooke begins as an ‘innocent’ setting out to write a heroic epic and
ends up writing a biting satire based on his disillusioning experiences.
And at this point, what metaphor could possibly represent the 2011 ND
program better? Or me. Or both.
Original dreams of grandeur.
Humiliated and near broken. But still capable of occasional excellence
and always funny.
(Read the book.)
2011
Schedule.
With over ¾ of the year
gone, this schedule looks a little different than it did two months ago, yes?
A couple ‘with the benefit of hindsight’ epiphanies:
·
Michigan, godless
huns that they are, play solid defense and win when they use Denard
properly. Clearly not as lame as originally thought, even now.
·
MSU – tough to
figure out but clearly a team that on any given week, can give you a game.
·
Purdue – I thought
they were the worst team I ever saw when we played ‘em but they have some grit.
·
USC – what’s worse
than being godless huns? Being really, really talented godless
huns. And that fact may have escaped us earlier in the season.
·
Wake – not a bad
team. Just ask Clemson.
|
September
|
October
|
November
|
|
3 South
Florida L
10 @Michigan (NIGHT) L
17 @MSU LINIPALOOZA!! W
24 @Pitt W
|
1 @Purdue (NIGHT) W
8 Air
Force W
15 OPEN
22 USC L
29 Navy W
|
5 @Wake
Forest W
12 @Maryland
(D.C.) W
19 Boston
College
26 @Stanford
(NIGHT)
|
|
|
|
|
2011
Wager status
At this point, it looks like a two game wager. In reality, it’s
all about Stanford ‘cause we’re not losing to BC. That’s the good news
for Team Glass Half Full. The bad news is that the only way the 9’s win this
pool is if Tommy wins the BUDDY that final week. Rut roh.
No comments:
Post a Comment