Lou Grant used to say to Mary Richards,
from time to time, “Mary, you’ve got spunk…”
To which he would immediately add, “I hate spunk”.
Well, similar feelings welled up watching
this past week’s Western Michigan game. Only my frustration wasn’t directed at
the lads from Kalamazoo (incidentally, does that make them kalamazoomies?), it
was at Team Kelly. Perhaps it was after
the third time that Crist threw 4 yds short of his open target that I began to
quote the philosopher Pogo,
The enemy is us, indeed. So I found myself
imploring the TV, “ND, just make a choice.”
Be good. Be awful. Just commit to
being something consistent. And wouldn’t
you know, Kelly seemed to have the same thing on his mind – did everyone pick
up on the extreme sarcasm he had toward his defense at halftime? And then they came and played the 2nd half
like one would've hoped the entire game would've gone.
One theory is that a letdown was inevitable
after the first six games. Maybe
so. Better to have the bad half, good
half sequence than the reverse I suppose. At least one can hope this is the
beginning of a trend.
Word
of the Week.
vi•cis•si•tude. This seemed like a good word for this week,
aptly capturing the ups and downs that still plague this team. Plus is multi-syllabic so it’ll give the
accounting majors something to work into their off hours conversations.
/vɪˈsɪs ɪˌtud, -ˌtyud/ [vi-sis-i-tood, -tyood]
–noun
1. a change or variation occurring in the
course of something.
2. interchange or alternation, as of states or
things.
3. vicissitudes, successive, alternating, or
changing phases or conditions, as of life or fortune; ups and downs: They
remained fans through the vicissitudes of 20 uneven years.
4. regular change or succession of one state
or thing to another.
5. change; mutation; mutability.
Origin:
1560–70; < L vicissitūdō, equiv. to viciss ( im ) in turn (perh. by
syncope < *vice-cessim; vice in the
place of ( see vice3 ) + cessim giving
way, adv. deriv. of cēdere to go,
proceed) + -i- -i- -tūdō -tude
—Related forms
vi•cis•si•tu•di•nous, adjective
The
Prophecies According to Roger & David
 |
| "Heading west, into the abyss..." |
So as I clear the western suburbs of
Chicago on my way to Iowa last Friday evening – Kay Corrigan, my 85 year old
mom, had knee replacement a couple weeks ago and I was going home to move her
out of the post-op care facility – I begin listening to non-stop Pink Floyd. A
practice, let me tell you in hindsight, I should've started 25 years ago on
these drives. And as I’m singing my way
past DeKalb, it occurs to me: when it
comes to the Notre Dame football program, these guys are Oracles! (Nostradamus?
A poser with a better publicist).
Witness the following and you decide:
|
Song title / lyric
|
Foretelling…
|
|
Us and Them
|
… the polarizing “love ‘em or hate ‘em, there’s no middle
ground” effect of the program on mass fandom.
|
|
Have A Cigar (you’re gonna go far)
|
… the 1978 National Championship
|
|
Welcome To The Machine
|
… the 1988-92 Vinnie Cerrato - Lou Holtz recruiting years.
|
|
Money (is a gas)
|
… the NBC network contract.
|
|
The lunatic is on the grass…
|
… the Bob Davie, Ty Willingham years.
|
|
The lunatics are in my hall…
|
… South Quad dorm life, 1975-79.
|
|
The lunatic is in my head…
|
… the Corrigan blog years.
|
|
Hanging on in quiet desperation…
|
… the Charlie Weis years.
|
|
Wish You Were Here
|
…the A Lot tailgaters.
|
I could go on – I haven’t even gotten to
the predictions suggested from The Wall, Animals and Momentary Lapse of Reason
albums – but coincidence? I think not.
Game
Commentary.
 |
| "Armando's hurt? I gotta get ahold of my bookie..." |
Watched the game with the aforementioned
(and mildly medicated) mum, an avid ND football fan… herewith her ‘special
guest’ commentary:
In more or less, real time, game chronological order…
Commentator
|
Time
|
Insight
|
|
Mom
|
Pre-game
|
That coach Kelly is like a model, that’s some good looking
bookstore
merchandise he’s wearing.
|
|
ND 7, WSU 0.
|
Why didn’t we schedule Western Michigan in September?
|
|
|
|
Michael Floyd is good… did you know Mary Lou O’Connell’s
daughter
went to HS w him.
(No,
mom, I didn’t.)
|
|
|
Terry
|
ND
7, WSU 7.
|
We
can stop them on 3 downs but apparently not on 4.
|
|
ND 14, WSU 7.
|
QB controversy?! John Goodman!
|
|
|
ND
20, WSU 10.
|
Great
block by Floyd on Crist’s TD run.
|
|
|
|
We
blitz much more effectively than ever did during the Tenuta era.
|
|
|
Mom
Terry
|
Halftime
“ “
|
Are they accusing Favre of fooling around?
Um…
yeah, sorta. In a manner of speaking…
|
|
Mom
|
“ “
|
It’d be nice to have an afternoon where you could just relax
watching
these guys.
|
|
Terry
|
3rd
Quarter (early)
|
Dayne
is awful.
|
|
|
The
refs are worse.
|
|
|
Fun fact #1:
|
|
The
first five scoring drives collectively added up to 3:26.
|
|
Fun fact #2:
|
|
ND
is one of only 2 schools who started off the year playing six
consecutive BCS teams.
Which is to say, an actual Div-1 schedule.
|
|
Terry
|
ND
34, WSU 17.
|
Cierre
Wood! Nice to see you again.
|
|
4th
Quarter
|
Do
we really have literally no one that can return a punt w any
elusiveness?
|
|
|
Mom
Terry
|
Post-game
|
I think Alex Flanagan should just keep her distance.
Oh,
mom. I beg to differ.
|
|
Mom
|
|
Those boys still don’t
know the words to the alma mater.
Neither
do I, mom.
|
|
Terry
|
|
Things
I Hate
1. Intolerance.
2. Brussel
sprouts.
3. Mimes.
4. That
awful rule that stops the clock on every first down in the last four minutes of
each half. So the first 26 minutes don’t
really count so much? Even when we’re
behind, I think it’s a rubbish rule.
Things
I Love
1. Zombie
movies.
2. The
Twin Anchors Experience.
3. Peter’s
Bloody Mary’s.
4. Whatever
Kelly said at half time.
Stuff
My Mom Said.
Kay Corrigan quote I: "God doesn’t close a door that He doesn’t
open a window..."
Implication: Kyle Rudolph suffers a season ending
hamstring injury – one that (I think) has a 6-7 month rehab period attached to
it, basically taking him out of any pre-NFL draft workout consideration. Does it mean he won't go pro? No – I think
he’d still be considered the clear #1 TE prospect – but one would think the
odds of him returning for his senior year have significantly increased. Not likely that many (any?) teams will risk
blowing a super high draft choice on a medical risk.
Kay Corrigan quote II: “But for the grace of God, there goes I…”
 |
| "I'm shocked, shocked... to find agents are engaging in underhanded collegiate dealings!" |
Implication: Does it seem like college
football has turned into Sodom & Gomorrah, ethics-wise? Or at least turned back the clock to the
1950’s and 60’s when the sleazy underbelly of pay-for-play was a well oiled
machine… USC goes down in flames (sniff), now its North Carolina (sniff) and
what appears to be most of the SEC. Now
you have a former agent coming forward to say how he was paying players for
most of the 1990’s at such esteemed places of higher education as Ohio State,
Washington State, UCLA, Tennessee, Illinois, Michigan State, Colorado, USC and
Arizona among others.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/magazine/10/12/agent/index.html?eref=sihp
Kay Corrigan quote III: "It’s 5 o’clock somewhere..."
Implication: Okay, mom didn’t really say that but being
home last weekend, I was reminded that she has an unerring body clock that
tells her when it is, indeed, 5pm. And
that means vodka tonic time! Where was
this woman during my college days?!
This one goes to 11
 |
| "What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Put it up to 11..." |
Let’s hear it for the University of
Georgia’s football program who last week had their 11th … eleventh… team member
arrested this year. That’s an entire side of criminals! So perhaps for Mark Richt, unscrupulous
agents aren't his biggest problem. Maybe it’s finding an agile legal team that
works 24/7.
Song
of the Week.
A salute, this week, to the Chilean miners
who spent ≈70 days trapped far below the earth's surface in what had to be a
singularly hellish experience. This song
has absolutely zero to do with their ordeal other than a superficial link in
the title. (Although one would have to believe that while down there, at least
a few of them probably thought about music, loose women and recreational
pharmaceuticals.) And so, Humble Pie’s “30 Days In The Hole”... a fun,
fantastic rocker from the early 70’s.
"Newcastle Brown can sure smack you down
You take a greasy whore and a rollin' dance
floor
You know you're jailhouse-bound…"
Terry’s
Tool Time.
Urban Meyer. Not only is he going on 30+ arrests for his
program since he’s been there – someone’s bucking for a Lifetime Achievement
Award! - this week he reinstated his fastest, most athletic reprobate, Chris
Rainey (who texted his ex-girlfriend, “Time to die, bitch”) because he needed
to jump start UF’s anemic post-Tebow offense.
Too bad it still didn’t help.
Schadenfreude
Winner of the Week.
Maybe the best week yet…
1. Nebraska. Plays a real team, after feasting on
the carrion that is the Big 12, gets spanked by Texas during their off
year. Pfffft goes your national
credibility.
2. Ohio
State. Can we please stop with
any more “Terrell Pryor Impact Player” talk?
3. Michigan. Denard gets hurt – who coulda
predicted that – and the snarky Tate Forcier enters. Too little, too late. Go Hawkeyes!
And by the way, Tate, no one gives a toss that you're from a San Diego
quarterbacking dynasty, Le Famille Forcier. Pass the Grey Pupon.
4. Florida. Three Gator straight losses –
not even Ron Zook accomplished that – this time to Mississippi State, a team
most known for… absolutely nothing. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
How’s that blood
pressure, Urbie? Winner!
Recruiting
Buzz.
Easy come, easy go. One of our earliest
recruits, highly touted OT Jordon Prestwood, de-commits for no apparent reason
other than he felt he made a rash decision.
Kids these days. A Florida lad,
he’s apparently looking a little closer to home, at both FSU and the Gators
while not ruling out a return to the fold for ND.
On a more optimistic note, Savon Huggins,
the NJ stud RB, made his official visit to this week’s game;
hopefully he was impressed with the 2nd Half commitment to running the ball.
And hopefully, he was still tailgating throughout the 1st Half.
The
Wager.
We’re in a presumed (hopeful?) steady state
until the Utah game… but the 7-win troika still has to be feeling good about
their chances.
In
Memorium.
 |
"Cut me some slack jack! Chump don wan ho help,
Chump don git no help. Jive ass dude got no brains
anyhow..."
|
We lost a pop culture giant this week,
Barbara Billingsley – known mostly (and deservedly so) as June Cleaver, the
Über-mom of ‘Leave It To Beaver’ fame. But many of us will hold her in equally
high esteem for her star cameo turn in “Airplane” as the helpful passenger who
comes to the aid of the put upon flight attendant…
On that note, until next week. Go Irish,
beat those spunky Midshipmen. Oh and programming note: the game starts at 11am
CDT.
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